• New BBS Disclaimer

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Fri Sep 4 00:05:40 2020
    ......... as a public service for all harried sysops, is a
    standard disclaimer form, much like the "fine print" at the
    bottom of an automobile commercial:

    This BBS is an "as-is" service. Neither the sysops, the school
    district, the Pope, Rush Limbaugh, or God HIMSELF will be held liable if
    the BBS does any of the following: Crashes, shuts down with or without
    warning, decides it doesn't like you, smokes profusely, makes that
    "chk-chk" noise like a broken washing machine, shoots sparks, causes a
    total nuclear holocaust, spins around several times and vomits pea soup,
    gives off "Bad Vibes," plays "Daisy" repeatedly, steals your boyfriend/girlfriend, falls in love with and begins humping your floppy
    disk drive, or spontaneously combusts.

    Do not operate heavy machinery after using this BBS. This BBS may
    cause drowsiness, dizziness, heart palpitations, shortness of breath,
    angina, temporary blindness, loss of consciousness, seizures, skin
    rashes, nausea, vomiting, the involuntary playing of Elvis songs,
    bloating, water retention, and/or spontaneous transformation into small woodland forest creatures. We are not responsible for emotional damage resulting from use of this BBS. Repeated and prolonged usage may cause paranoia, confusion, feelings of despair or ebullience, or a "Bad Hair
    Day." This BBS contains no user serviceable parts; see licensed
    technician before removing cover or striking. No lifeguard on duty.

    For children under 12, give half usual dosage. May be habit forming.
    No refunds or exchanges. Failure to follow appropriate safety
    precautions can and may result in mutilation or death. Contents under
    extreme pressure; do not puncture or incinerate this BBS. Void where prohibited. State and local taxes may apply. Avoid contact with eyes or
    mucous membranes. Not responsible for demonic possession and/or control
    of users.

    Read all instructions before using this BBS. This service not
    available in all areas. This BBS is not a bank or insured by the FDIC.
    If skin rash or other irritation develops, discontinue usage and contact
    your physician immediately. Do not use this BBS while bathing. For
    EXTERNAL use only. Not responsible for lost or misplaced mail or other
    personal items.

    Any resemblance to any persons living or dead is purely coincidental.
    No warranties are either express, or implied. Do not use this BBS under
    the influence of mind-altering drugs and/or alcohol unless those
    substances have already kicked in. For best results, time your
    medications properly. Not responsible for psychiatric care needed as a
    result of using this BBS. In case of accidental ingestion, do not
    induce vomiting.

    Not responsible for incidental or consequential damages, or for acts
    of God. It is illegal in some states to use this BBS while sleeping.
    Temporary insanity may result from the use/misuse of this BBS. The
    Supreme Court has ruled that using this BBS while performing surgery may
    be a violation of Federal Laws and restrictions.

    This disclaimer is not valid in Borneo, Outer Mongolia, on any day
    ending in "Y" of months which do not end in "R," and within five miles
    of the lower Volga River. Void where applicable by law. Do not fold,
    spindle or mutilate. Try not to step on the cracks. Avoid overdusting.
    DO NOT IMMERSE IN WATER!
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:2320/33 to Daryl Stout on Mon Dec 27 21:51:51 2021
    Re: New BBS Disclaimer
    By: Daryl Stout to All on Thu Nov 04 2021 12:04 am

    You forgot "even if it accesses your bank and moves your entire balance off-shore 'somewhere'; this nly happens, t ops, TOPS, one a week, so not to worry. . . you've paid your insurance rto tyhe sysop, right?
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Tue Dec 28 18:00:00 2021
    George,

    You forgot "even if it accesses your bank and moves your entire balance off-shore 'somewhere'; this nly happens, t ops, TOPS, one a week, so
    not to worry. . . you've paid your insurance rto tyhe sysop, right?

    It took me a minute to figure out your reply...then I looked at the
    subject line.

    I got very little sleep last night, and had to go to the Emergency
    Room at 5am this morning, with severe foot pain (I thought I had
    fractured it), and severe rectal spasms (I thought my butt was on
    fire).

    It turns out I had an attack of gout (I already have arthritis all
    through my body), and they gave me some medicine for the spasms. But,
    I didn't want a renegade storm to come in while I was gone, so I had
    shut the BBS down. When you tried to get in this morning, the system
    was trying to run a message base utility, and that's why it said "you
    have no time left".

    I'm trying to get the system to busy itself out to run the nightly
    doorgame maintenance, but it won't do it. So, I have to take the BBS
    down manually. I did see an email from digital man (Rob Swindell), the
    author of Synchronet, but I haven't gotten to it in the QWK packet yet.
    The thing is, during maintenance, accessing an item (message bases,
    file areas, or doors), can corrupt things big time.

    Daryl

    ... Effective cure for being a twit -- become a Sysop!!
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Wed Dec 29 08:23:46 2021
    I got very little sleep last night, and had to go to the Emergency
    Room at 5am this morning, with severe foot pain (I thought I had
    fractured it), and severe rectal spasms (I thought my butt was on
    fire).

    TMI, my friend!

    It turns out I had an attack of gout (I already have arthritis all
    through my body), and they gave me some medicine for the spasms. But,

    I take medicine usually for gout, as my latest kidney stone type arte uric acid-based. (living too well, thus eating more meat); trying to stick to exactly 4oz servings now (weighed out to 120g); seems to be helping. . .

    Quite possibly the thorn in his side Paul talked of -- & how it humbled him (to eat more like the poor, not the rich)

    I didn't want a renegade storm to come in while I was gone, so I had
    shut the BBS down. When you tried to get in this morning, the system
    was trying to run a message base utility, and that's why it said "you
    have no time left".

    I got that message at 2am, your time & again at 10am your time -- seemed an awful long time to say I'm getting too near 5am?

    I'm used to a BBS not allowing users on within 1 hour of an event (mail tossing, maintenance -- both usually done in the middle of the night)

    I got to remember: different folks(sysops, BBS OSs, etc.) = different strokes. . . (aka sysop having apoplectic seizures at what the users have tried most recently to annoy him)

    I'm trying to get the system to busy itself out to run the nightly
    doorgame maintenance, but it won't do it. So, I have to take the BBS
    down manually. I did see an email from digital man (Rob Swindell), the
    author of Synchronet, but I haven't gotten to it in the QWK packet yet.
    The thing is, during maintenance, accessing an item (message bases,
    file areas, or doors), can corrupt things big time.
    Daryl

    Oh, I understand all that -- the timing just seemed odd -- I'd understand if my time was reduced to no closer than an hour before the event, but to abruptly kick me out seemed harsh. . . ;)

    I'm glad they were able to quickly assess & diagnose+treat you. . .

    Seems it would've been far cheaper to have a housecall doctor come see you instead!

    Talk to your insurance if you'd like to avoid hospital runs in the future, for a convenient visit in your home. My company can generally send one for about
    $400USD in most major cities (Little Rock qualifies as one); ask your insurance about it & have them contact us for a corporate agreement/discounts: Mega Assistance Services Inc. I think we moved from our previous US HQ in Texas, up into Washgington State. I work out of our head head office, up here in Vancouver, Canada! (But because of the db system I helped design & implement, I can work no matter where in the world I am; I'm happy here in one corner of my bedroom, with coffee & ice water beside me Roll out of bed & a few steps over
    & I'm at work, dealing with whatever emergencies are presenting themselves. (usedto be, on night shifts, I'd be woken up to take care of some thing -- what fun! But got paid for my asleep time, so not too bad *LOL*)

    One time Chewbacca forgot to release the emergency brake before flying the millennium falcon
    It was a wookie mistake

    I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked for them to send someone round!
    Turns out theyÆve got tons of them!

    Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool... This is not a drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!

    For a taco emergency, dial Nine-Juan-Juan.

    Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy club than the emergency room.
    You just pay the cover charge and they'll have you in stitches.

    A chef cut himself and went to the emergency room... The nurses patched him in triage and after a long wait, the doctor called him in. "You'll take about eight stitches and be on your way." The chef replied, "I can tell you're all very busy here, so just hand me the needle and I'll be on my way." The doctor looked by turns insulted, annoyed and dismissive.

    "Fine then. Suture self."

    I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency... I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Dec 29 23:14:00 2021
    George,

    TMI, my friend!

    I'm sure I'm not the only person who deals with that on occasion.

    I take medicine usually for gout, as my latest kidney stone type arte
    uric acid-based. (living too well, thus eating more meat); trying to
    stick to exactly 4oz servings now (weighed out to 120g); seems to be helping. . .

    Ever since I gave up carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

    I got that message at 2am, your time & again at 10am your time --
    seemed an awful long time to say I'm getting too near 5am?

    There was a system glitch with the time...and there's another one where
    the system won't busy itself out for nightly maintenance at 12 midnight,
    so the doors can be processed. So, I have to manually down the nodes, until maintenance is done.

    I'm used to a BBS not allowing users on within 1 hour of an event (mail
    tossing, maintenance -- both usually done in the middle of the night).

    The 2 main events are the nightly maintenance (just after 12 midnight local time), and a message base utility (at 5am local time). Otherwise, if there aren't any storms, or power/internet outages, the BBS is up full time. I saw where apparently Janis Kracht (who has done a ton of stuff in FIDONet over
    the years) is having to shut her system down. People that were using her for
    a FIDONet Echomail hub, are having to scramble to find a replacement network connection.

    Oh, I understand all that -- the timing just seemed odd -- I'd
    understand if my time was reduced to no closer than an hour before the event, but to abruptly kick me out seemed harsh. . . ;)

    Well, as noted, there is a glitch there, and I never did hear back from digital man on the nightly maintenance deal...although the system said I
    had a message from him in a certain area, but I never could find it.

    Seems it would've been far cheaper to have a housecall doctor come see
    you instead!

    Very few physicians, nurses, do house calls anymore.

    Talk to your insurance if you'd like to avoid hospital runs in the
    future, for a convenient visit in your home. My company can generally send one for about $400USD in most major cities (Little Rock qualifies

    Well, while I don't mind going to the doctor, I'd rather not go if I
    don't have to. However, I've gotten so when I go into the clinic or to
    my pharmacy, I go into my Ray Stevens impersonation of the old geezer
    who said "It's Me Again, Margaret". <G> On a sad note, I saw where his
    wife is apparently near death, and he is obviously devastated right now.
    So, he has cancelled his shows for the time being, until things stabilize,
    and after she's gone.

    I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked for them to send someone round! Turns out theyÆve got tons of them!

    A balanced diet -- balanced in the belly and in the buttocks. <G>

    Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool... This is not a drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!

    Those are the 5 most feared words of an emergency communications
    operator. That was also what was sent right after the Japanese bombed
    Pearl Harbor just over 80 years ago.

    For a taco emergency, dial Nine-Juan-Juan.

    When you've Don Juan, you've Don 'em all. <G>

    Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy
    club than the emergency room. You just pay the cover charge and
    they'll have you in stitches.

    The comedy can bleed you dry...because you peed on yourself.

    "Fine then. Suture self."

    He had to tourniqet when the old qet went the wrong way.

    I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency... I can teach
    people a valuable lesson about assumptions.

    Never assume...besides, "OOPS!!" is NOT a valid response.

    Daryl

    ... Truer words were never spoken; except in a courtroom.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Fri Dec 31 11:39:02 2021
    George,
    TMI, my friend!
    I'm sure I'm not the only person who deals with that on occasion.
    I take medicine usually for gout, as my latest kidney stone type arte
    uric acid-based. (living too well, thus eating more meat); trying to
    stick to exactly 4oz servings now (weighed out to 120g); seems to be
    helping. . .
    Ever since I gave up carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

    I cut them out long ago! I only dranbk then wheb I was doing 12-hour shift work, as one rapidly drunk Coke did more to wake me up than the speed with which I could ingest caffeine via coffee.

    I got that message at 2am, your time & again at 10am your time --
    seemed an awful long time to say I'm getting too near 5am?
    There was a system glitch with the time...and there's another one where
    the system won't busy itself out for nightly maintenance at 12 midnight,
    so the doors can be processed. So, I have to manually down the nodes, until maintenance is done.

    "Feces occurs" is a maxim in every field.

    Seems it would've been far cheaper to have a housecall doctor come see
    you instead!
    Very few physicians, nurses, do house calls anymore.

    I've found a housecall doctor or two in every city with an intewrnational airport in the USA. I believe LR has such?

    I called up Weight Watchers, told them there was an emergency and asked
    for them to send someone round! Turns out they+ve got tons of them!
    A balanced diet -- balanced in the belly and in the buttocks. <G>

    The 3 Bs of Feminine Beauty: Boobs, Belly, & Butt (or is that 4?)

    Uh oh... Emergency: you brought me the wrong tool... This is not a
    drill... I repeat, this is not a drill!
    Those are the 5 most feared words of an emergency communications
    operator. That was also what was sent right after the Japanese bombed
    Pearl Harbor just over 80 years ago.

    not a drill is bad, to, when you asked for a fleeping HAMMER!

    STOP!
    Drill Time! (nope; could never have become the hit for MC that "Hammer Time" was. . .)

    Pro Tip: If you have a gashed wound, it is cheaper to go to a comedy
    club than the emergency room. You just pay the cover charge and
    they'll have you in stitches.
    The comedy can bleed you dry...because you peed on yourself.

    I do try to avoid that one. I've slowly built up new muscles tyo control my uyrethras farther up (as I often get a sharp jagged stone shard lodged at the main point of squeezing off the flow, & when I squeeze, AIIIII,. pain like nothing else! & the urethra automatically spasms wide open! So I've had to find & exercise muscles further up the pipe, to control flow in such a situation.

    I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency... I can teach
    people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
    Never assume...besides, "OOPS!!" is NOT a valid response.

    It might well be a COMMON response,but you're never allowed to be awake during surgeries to witness it!

    Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds. Eyewitnesses report he left no tern unstoned.

    Nothing spoils a good story
    like the arrival of an eyewitness.

    Neighbours testified they heard 3 gunshots Well, yeah, one for the murder, & 2 more to clear out the obvious eyewitnesses.

    Detective Johnson and detective Smith were investigating a murder that occurred next to a playground. The only witnesses to the murder were four children, a brother age 3 and sister age 4, and a different brother (age 7) and sister (age 8).
    The children all lived in a nearby apartment complex. The younger siblings lived in apartment 8D and the older ones lived in apartment 9D. Detective Johnson advised Detective Smith that she probably shouldnÆt bother question 8DÆs children about what they saw, since theyÆre too young to have a reliable memory. He believed that Smith would have a better chance of getting good information from the older children, since only 9DÆs kids will remember.

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Fri Dec 31 22:10:00 2021
    George,

    I cut them out long ago! I only dranbk then wheb I was doing 12-hour
    shift work, as one rapidly drunk Coke did more to wake me up than the speed with which I could ingest caffeine via coffee.

    Since I cut out the soda and the caffeine, I haven't had kidney stones,
    and my heart rate has stabilized. Those "energy drinks" are worse than caffeine.

    "Feces occurs" is a maxim in every field.

    I said that to a co-worker one day years ago...and she looked at me with
    the deer in the headlights look. When I translated it, she roared with laughter, and said "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, she
    came in, and I asked her if she had told her sister. Grinning wildly, she
    said "yes", and when I asked "same reaction?", she said "yes". <G>

    She lost her first husband to colon cancer, but remarried too soon after that...I don't the marriage lasted 2 months. I don't know whatever happened
    to her, as she resigned from there long before I did.

    I've found a housecall doctor or two in every city with an
    intewrnational airport in the USA. I believe LR has such?

    Not that I know. I did have a nurse from my HMO come by for a physical
    exam and interview this past September.

    The 3 Bs of Feminine Beauty: Boobs, Belly, & Butt (or is that 4?)

    Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

    not a drill is bad, to, when you asked for a fleeping HAMMER!

    Really.

    I do try to avoid that one. I've slowly built up new muscles tyo
    control my uyrethras farther up (as I often get a sharp jagged stone shard lodged at the main point of squeezing off the flow, & when I squeeze, AIIIII,. pain like nothing else! & the urethra automatically spasms wide open! So I've had to find & exercise muscles further up
    the pipe, to control flow in such a situation.

    Incontinence on both sides is a bear. Ever since I quit drinking soda
    or carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

    It might well be a COMMON response,but you're never allowed to be awake during surgeries to witness it!

    Or the guy who wakes up in the morgue, and wonders "If I'm alive, what am
    I doing here?? And, if I'm dead, how come I have to go to the bathroom??".

    Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds. Eyewitnesses report he left no tern unstoned.

    Nice spoonerism pun.

    Nothing spoils a good story
    like the arrival of an eyewitness.

    Eyewitnesses were on the scene in minutes.

    Neighbours testified they heard 3 gunshots Well, yeah, one for the
    murder, & 2 more to clear out the obvious eyewitnesses.

    That's about it.

    Daryl

    ... Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance??
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jan 2 08:31:02 2022
    George,
    I cut them out long ago! I only drank them when I was doing 12-hour
    shift work, as one rapidly drunk Coke did more to wake me up than the
    speed with which I could ingest caffeine via coffee.
    Since I cut out the soda and the caffeine, I haven't had kidney stones,
    and my heart rate has stabilized. Those "energy drinks" are worse than caffeine.

    Yup; I don't drink any of that {congress} any more! I never got into energy drinks, as I'm intolerant to the artificial hormone they often include.

    "Feces occurs" is a maxim in every field.
    I said that to a co-worker one day years ago...and she looked at me with
    the deer in the headlights look. When I translated it, she roared with laughter, and said "I'm going to tell my sister!!". The next morning, she came in, and I asked her if she had told her sister. Grinning wildly, she said "yes", and when I asked "same reaction?", she said "yes". <G>

    Sheltered upbringing? It's suchj an eleganbt way to convey the sentiment, I figure.

    I've found a housecall doctor or two in every city with an
    intewrnational airport in the USA. I believe LR has such?
    Not that I know. I did have a nurse from my HMO come by for a physical
    exam and interview this past September.

    Iof you have anextraordinary difficulty in coming in to the office, most primary care physicians will drop by to see their own patients, if cajoled well. My company has hundreds of doctors available in our network all over the world, who exclusively do housecalls for us, when we dispatch them.

    One of our guys even spent a full 16-hour day with our client, to ensure he got the proper exams to clear him to fly home (to Europe) that night. We paid him a big chunk more than the $400 he charges us for a housecall I think we, on our own offer, gave him triple that.

    The 3 Bs of Feminine Beauty: Boobs, Belly, & Butt (or is that 4?)
    Beauty is skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. <G>

    Some ofd those bone-ugly womemn can fake an outweard beauty thar gets tor attention briefly, but wears off in minutes, after she begins to speak.

    Thus the proverb: Marry in haste--repent in leisure

    Incontinence on both sides is a bear. Ever since I quit drinking soda
    or carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

    I quiot, but I still get near constant attacks of kidney stones. Haven't gone to the hospital for one in a long time, though.

    When I get one bigger than t he requisite 8mm, I set up the surgery for it, & go in just for that -- no more 3am ambulance trips for something so prosaic as "yet another" kidney stone.

    Or the guy who wakes up in the morgue, and wonders "If I'm alive, what am
    I doing here?? And, if I'm dead, how come I have to go to the bathroom??".

    That would be annoying. Maybe he's a vamp[ire. One series of novels I've read began with the heroine (Betsy) waking up in the morgue, & being PO'ed because she realized she was dead & that her M-i-L had stolen her expensive shoes, & let her wearing K-Mart specials instead!

    Police are looking for a man selling marijuana to birds. Eyewitnesses
    report he left no tern unstoned.
    Nice spoonerism pun.

    A favorite category of mine,. if they're new & funny.

    ... Hard work never killed anybody, but why take a chance??

    I've been saying that for years! Then go ahead & work hard anyway!

    Boss, over intercom to lazing secretary: Can I see you in my office She: No; you've got no windows in your office.

    According to a recent study, itÆs really hard for women to work for the Postal Service.
    ItÆs a mail dominated industry.

    Carpentry is hard work
    That's why i get hammered after work

    My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath... She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge anyway...

    Making mayonnaise is hard work.
    Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting

    Trimming hedges is hard work.
    You must take it sheariously.

    Would a job at a Viagra factory be considered hard work?

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Mon Jan 3 01:44:00 2022
    George,

    Yup; I don't drink any of that {congress} any more! I never got into energy drinks, as I'm intolerant to the artificial hormone they often include.

    That reminds me of the joke where the doctor was giving this woman testosterone shots (even males have some estrogen hormones). Well, she
    told her doctor that they had a rather nasty side effect. He asked what
    they were, and she said "It put hair on my chest". Then, he asked "How
    far down does it go??", and she replied "All the way to my testicles". <G>

    Sheltered upbringing? It's such an eleganbt way to convey the
    sentiment, I figure.

    That's like saying "the fecal excrement came in contact with the rotary displacement unit". <G>

    If you have anextraordinary difficulty in coming in to the office,
    most primary care physicians will drop by to see their own patients,
    if cajoled well. My company has hundreds of doctors available in our network all over the world, who exclusively do housecalls for us, when
    we dispatch them.

    Well, for the moment, I still have my car (transportation), and don't
    have to rely on friends or Uber. However, if I'm undergoing an outpatient procedure requiring sedation, then I have to get a ride. But, with most
    all my friends working, and having a family of their own...or their own
    health issues...it can be almost impossible to get a ride. Because of the insurance and liability issues, you can not take public transporation
    (bus, taxi, etc.) to and from the clinic.

    One of our guys even spent a full 16-hour day with our client, to
    ensure he got the proper exams to clear him to fly home (to Europe)
    that night. We paid him a big chunk more than the $400 he charges us
    for a housecall I think we, on our own offer, gave him triple that.

    Good for you.

    Some of those bone-ugly womemn can fake an outweard beauty that gets
    your attention briefly, but wears off in minutes, after she begins to speak.

    There's a video on YouTube of this couple...both veterans. They met while
    in training, and she said "When I first saw him, I thought he was gorgeous" (although I thought the term was 'handsome' for a man). Then, she said "When
    he spoke, I thought he was a jerk"...and everyone in the studio (with them) busted out laughing. Host Steve Harvey said it was like "You first saw him,
    it was like 'Ah, yes!!'...then when he spoke, it was 'I'll be damned'". <G>

    But, there was a surprise waiting for this military couple, on a Veterans
    Day show...their son, stationed overseas, had come home for a brief time.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJ6Kp5UgLSU

    Thus the proverb: Marry in haste -- repent in leisure

    The Apostle Paul also said "It is better to marry, then to burn with passion".

    Incontinence on both sides is a bear. Ever since I quit drinking soda
    or carbonated beverages, I haven't had a single stone.

    I quiot, but I still get near constant attacks of kidney stones.
    Haven't gone to the hospital for one in a long time, though.

    When I get one bigger than the requisite 8mm, I set up the surgery for
    it, & go in just for that -- no more 3am ambulance trips for something
    so prosaic as "yet another" kidney stone.

    Ever since I quit drinking soda, I haven't had a kidney stone. I suspect
    the carbonated beverages might have had something to do with it...but it could've also been from oxylates (chocolate, etc.). But, the chocolate is
    also loaded with caffeine, and like with iced tea, I had to give it up, as
    it had accelerated my heart rate to 155.

    That would be annoying. Maybe he's a vampire. One series of novels
    I've read began with the heroine (Betsy) waking up in the morgue, &
    being PO'ed because she realized she was dead & that her M-i-L had
    stolen her expensive shoes, & left her wearing K-Mart specials instead!

    Bummer.

    A favorite category of mine,. if they're new & funny.

    I saw a meme today that noted "I've absorbed so much hand sanitizer, that whenever I pee, I clean the toilet". <G>

    Boss, over intercom to lazing secretary: Can I see you in my office
    She: No; you've got no windows in your office.

    LOL!!

    According to a recent study, it's really hard for women to work for the Postal Service. It's a mail dominated industry.

    But, a menopausal woman goes postal much quicker. <G>

    Carpentry is hard work
    That's why I get hammered after work

    It might knock some sense into you...or knock the loose screws back in
    place. <g,d,r>

    My wife had a hard day at work, so I drew her a warm bath... She didn't really seem to appreciate the sketch but it went on the fridge
    anyway...

    She would freeze you out of a relationship, as she gave you the cold shoulder.

    Making mayonnaise is hard work.
    Some would even call it egg-sauce-ting

    I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still stir the mayonnaise, and
    lick the jar. So, pass the BLT, onion ring, and Doctor Pepper...and no one
    gets hurt. <G>

    Trimming hedges is hard work.
    You must take it sheariously.

    It can be a real pain in the grass.

    Would a job at a Viagra factory be considered hard work?

    Only if it gets a rise out of you.

    Daryl

    ... "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped." -Groucho
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Mon Jan 3 13:06:10 2022
    That reminds me of the joke where the doctor was giving this woman testosterone shots (even males have some estrogen hormones). Well, she
    told her doctor that they had a rather nasty side effect. He asked what
    they were, and she said "It put hair on my chest". Then, he asked "How
    far down does it go??", and she replied "All the way to my testicles". <G>

    Yikes! I doubt that was a happy easily-ignored side effect!

    But then, with women these days goin to the gym daily, working out,. building muscles -- running around looking like little men, maybe nmot entirely undesired. . .

    The feminists are in trouble -- they think they can become equal to men.

    Right off: they're setting their aim too low Also: it won't help anyway, as we still own everything!

    I'm all for real feminisnm, which ceased to exist years ago: the idea that you don't actually need a penis or vagina for most jobs!

    Thing is, an open marketplace leaves no room for sexism. Business owners only want max money for minimum outlay.

    If you can do the requested job at the offered pay, then they certainly won't care whether you were born an 'innie' or 'outie' (girl or boy)

    If a woman is doing the business & raimaking better than the men(& women) next to her, she'll be the one getting a cushy CEO position at $5M/year+stock, like Iacoca did in the '80s (I read his book -- this guy is GOOD! Came from being a hated immigrant to being the first CEO to break that much in annual compensation!)

    & earned every penny of it & probably more. but he accepted the offer as it ended up being. I might've held out for more, but most of it being in stock options.

    Nothing but resp[ect for that particular Italian-America (untiol I read his book, I had no idea there was a time signs proliferated saying "Help Wanted, but no Italians" in the USA. (must've been not manty brown immigrants then-- people gotta hate, it seems *sigh* It's 2022, people, smarten the fleep up & love your neighbour, because you ain't so fleeping special yourself!)

    Q: Did you hear about the racist that locked his keys in his car? A: He had to use a coat hanger to get his family out.

    Q: Whats the difference between a smart racist and a unicorn? A: Nothing; they're both fictional characters

    That's like saying "the fecal excrement came in contact with the rotary displacement unit". <G>

    & dispersal was not equally distributed.

    health issues...it can be almost impossible to get a ride. Because of the insurance and liability issues, you can not take public transporation
    (bus, taxi, etc.) to and from the clinic.

    Yup, but you can take those modes if you have an adult with you, at least here that's the case.

    Always best to tell the discharge nurse your plan, as she cabn warn you if that's particularly a bad idea in your current case.

    We have here a disabled transportation srvice that'll send a van to pick you up,. & the attendant (usually my daughter) rides for free & I pay $2.50 one way. So I'll bus there (free with annual $45 pass), & take the HandyDart back, to keep expenditures lower.

    Some t8imes I'll take a taxi (I can buy coup0ons to pay with that basically give me hjalfr price taxi travel -- I keep these for when needed most like if caught suddenly by bad weather, or bringing home too many groceries for my chair to fit onto the buses well, witghout crushing stuff)

    Thus the proverb: Marry in haste -- repent in leisure
    The Apostle Paul also said "It is better to marry, then to burn with passion".

    If you only marry for that reaso9n, I can tell you right now how successful that marriage will be; never seen it work out yet.

    Better to teach yourselves & each other self control, & date without getting jiggy, until you've been together,. dating, long enough that you both can't see a future without the other, even after the initial edge of horny is taken off, THEN get married, based on multi love (all 3: Eros(non-Platonic),
    Philos(friendship/commitment), & Agape(true, unconditional love & commitment))

    The different types of love referred to as jusat "love" in the Bible are those 3.

    Funny, when Jesus asked Peter, "Do you love(agape) me?" & Peter answered, "You know I love(philos) you." & JC said, sadly, "So you just love(Philos) me."

    Most don't unmderstand what was happening here, as a literal translation misses the nuance/ I translate it as:

    Jesus: Do you truly, truly love me, more than your own life? Peter: Yeah, you're a bud.
    J: So I'm just a buddy, not a true friend deep & through? P: Yeah, you're okay.

    Not in any canonical Bible I've read, but it should be. . .

    I saw a meme today that noted "I've absorbed so much hand sanitizer, that whenever I pee, I clean the toilet". <G>

    That covers it!

    Carpentry is hard work
    That's why I get hammered after work

    Carpenter's dream:
    1: flat as a board & never been nailed. 2: flat as a board & ready to be nailed.

    I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still stir the mayonnaise, and
    lick the jar. So, pass the BLT, onion ring, and Doctor Pepper...and no one gets hurt. <G>

    You'd like A&W, I 'spect -- no Dr. Pepper, though,. as A&W is allied with the Coca Cola cartel, not the Pepsi Corp one.

    ... "Either this man is dead, or my watch is stopped." -Groucho

    He was a hoot!

    More Groucho:
    (pre-arranged for easy importing to a tagline file)

    Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out. I refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you. Those are my principles, and if you don't like them; well, I have others. I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are. If you are not having fun you are doing something wrong. I intend to live forever, or die trying.

    I've adopted that last one as part of my personal motto. . .

    & I add. . . "so far. . so good! This is the oldest I've ever been!"

    Longevity, not through diet & exercise, but by simply not dying!

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Tue Jan 4 11:27:00 2022
    George,

    Yikes! I doubt that was a happy easily-ignored side effect!

    She even had the balls to corner him on that.

    But then, with women these days goin to the gym daily, working out,. building muscles -- running around looking like little men, maybe nmot entirely undesired. . .

    Then, you have all these trans-gender athletes...which make it unfair in
    many respects. In some sports, they don't care if you "identify" as a woman;
    if biologically, you're a male, you can NOT compete in a female sport.

    Thing is, an open marketplace leaves no room for sexism. Business
    owners only want max money for minimum outlay.

    Profit is the bottom line...and not the vertical crack in your butt.

    If you can do the requested job at the offered pay, then they certainly won't care whether you were born an 'innie' or 'outie' (girl or boy)

    You can't have mine...you broke yours off!! <G>

    Yup, but you can take those modes if you have an adult with you, at
    least here that's the case.

    The thing is, they'd have to pay as well, and be available. Scheduling
    is the rough part...even if I had the funds for the procedures.

    We have here a disabled transportation srvice that'll send a van to
    pick you up,. & the attendant (usually my daughter) rides for free & I pay $2.50 one way. So I'll bus there (free with annual $45 pass), &
    take the HandyDart back, to keep expenditures lower.

    The only "Medicaid" I have is to pay the monthly Medicare premium.
    Otherwise, I have no supplemental insurance.

    If you only marry for that reason, I can tell you right now how
    successful that marriage will be; never seen it work out yet.

    Especially for those who say they're marrying so they can legally have
    sexual intercourse. That is a fringe benefit to marriage...not the be all
    and end all of it.

    The different types of love referred to as jusat "love" in the Bible
    are those 3.

    Correct.

    Carpenter's dream:
    1: flat as a board & never been nailed. 2: flat as a board & ready to
    be nailed.

    Or like the bricks that proclaimed "We're getting laid today". <G>

    I'm too old to cut the mustard, but I can still stir the mayonnaise, and lick the jar. So, pass the BLT, onion ring, and Doctor Pepper...and no one gets hurt. <G>

    You'd like A&W, I 'spect -- no Dr. Pepper, though,. as A&W is allied
    with the Coca Cola cartel, not the Pepsi Corp one.

    I've just been drinking lemonade or lemon Koolaid...I've stopped drinking carbonated beverages.

    More Groucho:
    (pre-arranged for easy importing to a tagline file)

    Be open minded, but not so open minded that your brains fall out. I
    refuse to join any club that would have me as a member. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I'd be happy to do it for you. Those are my principles, and if you don't like them; well, I have others. I'm not a vegetarian, but I eat animals who are. If you are not having fun you
    are doing something wrong. I intend to live forever, or die trying.

    There was a guy who did a show called "An Evening With Groucho" at a
    place called "The Rep" (formerly The ART (Arkansas Repertory Theatre)).
    You thought that Groucho had come back from the dead!!

    The first night of the show, there was a bald man in the front row, and "Groucho" went up to him, rubbed his head...and said "I'm Groucho Marx.
    This is Karl Marx. Sorry about the revolution, old man!!" <G>.

    Later, he was singing one of his many songs (the one he used with the
    show "You Bet Your Life" was "Hello, I Must Be Going")...this one was on
    Lydia the tattooed lady. This heavy set woman in the front row was just cackling in raucous laughter. He asked her what her name was...when she
    said "Lydia", it brought the house down in riotous laughter, and he just
    about fell off the stage!! <BG>

    Longevity, not through diet & exercise, but by simply not dying!

    The blooper noted the passing of Pastor Smith as "it was truly a
    turning point in his life". <G>

    Daryl

    ... My last original thought died of loneliness.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jan 4 11:01:08 2022
    Then, you have all these trans-gender athletes...which make it unfair in
    many respects. In some sports, they don't care if you "identify" as a woman; if biologically, you're a male, you can NOT compete in a female sport.

    As it should be in all -- if you've had the advantage of testosterone bulking you up for years, especially in your post-puberscent era, it is NOT fair to allow you to run against thosde who've been estrogen-based their entire lives.

    There have been competitions that allowed identify-as-female" big muscular guys to compete evenly with born-women. The results were 100% as we with brains predicted.

    There was a guy here, who claimed to be a woman (with zero objective evidende of such) who was suing "personal grooming for women" salons for not giving him the vaginal waxing they advertised.

    He was also hanging around in family change rooms, goofing on undressed little girls.

    I keep it simple:
    What OBJECTIVE, scientific, medical basis do you have for saying you're a woman?
    A womam has: primary & secondasry sexual characteristics, plus XX chromosome in every cell in her body.

    A "claiming-to-be-woman" has his claim & "studies" that conveniently overlook the possibility that people LIE.
    Objective vs Subjective.

    You can't have mine...you broke yours off!! <G>
    Ok, we took off our clothes, you stood on top of me -- when does it star to feel good?

    The only "Medicaid" I have is to pay the monthly Medicare premium.
    Otherwise, I have no supplemental insurance.

    Look for a volunterrs organisation in your area, especially seniors' organisations -- ask for a volunteer medical driver; we have that in every community now.

    Especially for those who say they're marrying so they can legally have
    sexual intercourse. That is a fringe benefit to marriage...not the be all
    and end all of it.

    Amen! It's definitely a plenty fine benefit, but so is the love & companionship & coming home to cooked food!

    Or like the bricks that proclaimed "We're getting laid today". <G>

    Q: Why'd the chickem cross the road? A: He heard there was a man layi8ng bricks & just HAD to see that for himself.

    I've just been drinking lemonade or lemon Koolaid...I've stopped drinking carbonated beverages.

    Hey, YOU brought up Dr. Pepper! ;)

    The blooper noted the passing of Pastor Smith as "it was truly a
    turning point in his life". <G>

    When you view life as eternal, then this wasn't necessarily a blooper.

    --- BBBS/Li6 v4.10 Toy-5
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:2320/33 to George Pope on Wed Jan 5 11:52:00 2022
    George,

    As it should be in all -- if you've had the advantage of testosterone bulking you up for years, especially in your post-puberscent era, it
    is NOT fair to allow you to run against thosde who've been
    estrogen-based their entire lives.

    Exactly. Society has gotten so much "entitlement" and "being spoiled"
    that "everyone should win every time". It doesn't work that way.

    There was a guy here, who claimed to be a woman (with zero objective evidende of such) who was suing "personal grooming for women" salons
    for not giving him the vaginal waxing they advertised.

    He should be like the guy who used the woman's lavatory on the airline,
    but didn't follow the flight attendant's warnings of "Do Not Touch The Buttons", as follows:

    1) WW - Warm Water -- to rinse off the buttocks and genitalia
    2) WA - Warm Air -- to dry off said areas
    3) PP - Powder Puff -- to make fresh said areas

    When he pulled the last one, he blacked out, and woke up in the ICU.
    The nurse chastized him, and said "the last one was TR -- Tampon Remover.
    Your penis is under your pillow".

    He was also hanging around in family change rooms, goofing on undressed little girls.

    Too many sex offenders out there nowadays.

    A "claiming-to-be-woman" has his claim & "studies" that conveniently overlook the possibility that people LIE.
    Objective vs Subjective.

    There was a meme with this guy with hairy arms and legs, but wearing a dress, was approaching the ladies room. Two burly guys were in front of
    the door, as guards, with the warning sign "If you're not a woman when
    you go in, you will be when you come out".

    Ok, we took off our clothes, you stood on top of me -- when does it
    star to feel good?

    I don't know, but I've already got a headache. <G>

    Look for a volunterrs organisation in your area, especially seniors' organisations -- ask for a volunteer medical driver; we have that in
    every community now.

    The thing is, if they require Medicaid (besides just paying the monthly premium), I'm disqualified.

    Amen! It's definitely a plenty fine benefit, but so is the love & companionship & coming home to cooked food!

    Like the country song "I've Got All The Love A Man Could Want, Waiting
    For Me At Home".

    Q: Why'd the chicken cross the road? A: He heard there was a man
    laying bricks & just HAD to see that for himself.

    Actually, Henrietta was in the yard, hearing the two ladies talking,
    and one told the other "When Henrietta quits laying eggs, we'll kill her,
    and eat her, with chicken and dumplings". The next frame, you see Henrietta
    at the checkout lane of the grocery store, and the clerk asks "Another two dozen eggs, Henrietta??".

    And, THAT'S why the chicken crossed the road. <G>

    I've just been drinking lemonade or lemon Koolaid...I've stopped drinking carbonated beverages.

    Hey, YOU brought up Dr. Pepper! ;)

    I used to drink that. Years ago, we'd drink the whole 12 ounce bottle in
    one swig, then see who could let out the raunchiest belch. :P

    The blooper noted the passing of Pastor Smith as "it was truly a
    turning point in his life". <G>

    When you view life as eternal, then this wasn't necessarily a blooper.

    When I first read it, I thought "What was your first clue??".

    Daryl


    ... Safe Sex: One safe humping another one.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:2320/33)