• Computer Failure Haikus

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Sat Nov 7 00:09:31 2020
    In Japan, they have replaced the
    impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
    messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
    poetry has strict construction and
    inscrutable rules.

    Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
    five syllables in the first line, seven in
    the second, five in the third.

    Haiku are used to communicate timeless
    messages, often evoking powerful insight
    through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.

    Your file was so big.
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.

    The Web site you seek
    Cannot be located, but
    Countless more exist.

    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.

    Program aborting:
    Close all that you have worked on.
    You ask far too much.

    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

    Yesterday it worked.
    Today it is not working.
    Windows is like that.

    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand-dollar screen dies
    So beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    And the presence of absence:
    "My Novel" not found.

    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao - until
    You bring fresh toner.

    Stay the patient course.
    Of little worth is your ire.
    The network is down.

    A crash reduces
    Your expensive computer
    To a simple stone.

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    You step in the stream,
    But the water has moved on.
    This page is not here.

    Out of memory.
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.

    Having been erased,
    The document you're seeking
    Must now be retyped.

    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Feb 1 12:05:34 2021
    All so true;l trust the Japanese, eh?

    Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS in Jax?

    BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had more
    snow than me this winter, too!)

    & the customary(at one time) ObJoke, to be on topic:
    Another funny list:

    Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

    Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

    Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

    Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out
    tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!

    My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local web- accessible BBS. . .

    <+]:{)} (Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM)

    In Japan, they have replaced the
    impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
    messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
    poetry has strict construction and
    inscrutable rules.

    Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
    five syllables in the first line, seven in
    the second, five in the third.

    Haiku are used to communicate timeless
    messages, often evoking powerful insight
    through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.

    Your file was so big.
    It might be very useful.
    But now it is gone.

    The Web site you seek
    Cannot be located, but
    Countless more exist.

    Chaos reigns within.
    Reflect, repent, and reboot.
    Order shall return.

    Program aborting:
    Close all that you have worked on.
    You ask far too much.

    Windows NT crashed.
    I am the Blue Screen of Death.
    No one hears your screams.

    Yesterday it worked.
    Today it is not working.
    Windows is like that.

    First snow, then silence.
    This thousand-dollar screen dies
    So beautifully.

    With searching comes loss
    And the presence of absence:
    "My Novel" not found.

    The Tao that is seen
    Is not the true Tao - until
    You bring fresh toner.

    Stay the patient course.
    Of little worth is your ire.
    The network is down.

    A crash reduces
    Your expensive computer
    To a simple stone.

    Three things are certain:
    Death, taxes and lost data.
    Guess which has occurred.

    You step in the stream,
    But the water has moved on.
    This page is not here.

    Out of memory.
    We wish to hold the whole sky,
    But we never will.

    Having been erased,
    The document you're seeking
    Must now be retyped.

    Serious error.
    All shortcuts have disappeared.
    Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Feb 2 06:26:00 2021
    George,

    Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS in Jax?

    Nope...I originally am from the Miami, Florida area, but my late father's
    job transferred the family to Arkansas in mid-1977, and I've been here since then. I didn't start calling other BBS's until 1985, and didn't start my own until 1990.

    BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had
    more snow than me this winter, too!)

    Much of Arkansas...especially central Arkansas...has been in a snow
    drought for awhile (at least 1111 days). However, that may change early
    next week. Much colder air is forecast by Saturday, lasting into next
    week. However, forecasting winter weather in Arkansas is a nightmare.
    You have the Ozarks and Ouachita Mountains in northern and western
    Arkansas, respectively...and that can dam up/bottle up the cold air
    from getting further into the state. The vertical temperature profile,
    from the ground through the midlevels to the clouds, makes all the
    difference in the world, as follows.

    1) If the temperature is below freezing through the entire vertical column...the precipitation type is snow.

    2) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a shallow layer of
    warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is sleet (technically, ice pellets).

    3) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a deep layer of
    warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is freezing rain (an ice storm, with widespread
    and devasting, long term power outages and icy roads).

    4) If the temperature is above freezing through the entire vertial
    column...the precipitation type is rain.

    And, that's meteorology 101 for today. <G> I'm not a meteorologist,
    but I'm an amateur weather enthusiast. I know enough to be dangerous...
    and "I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". <BG>

    Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

    Spit it out. :P

    Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

    You'll spit your teeth out on these. :P

    Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

    Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me;
    Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!

    Honest, Ocifer, I'm serfectly pober...not as think as you drunk I am, not under the alcfluence of incohol...and can straight a walk line. <G>

    My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local
    web- accessible BBS. . .

    Whatever works. :)

    The charges now for dial-up analog lines (even if it's a "no frills
    line" are ridiculous. In many cases, over $75 a month...yet, a MagicJack
    VoIP line can be under $50 a year. The phone company can't touch that.

    Daryl

    ... This week was next week last week.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Feb 2 22:51:42 2021
    George,

    Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS
    in
    Jax?

    Nope...I originally am from the Miami, Florida area, but my late
    father's
    job transferred the family to Arkansas in mid-1977, and I've been here
    since
    then. I didn't start calling other BBS's until 1985, and didn't start my
    own
    until 1990.

    You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology (including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)

    I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .

    BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had more snow than me this winter, too!)

    Much of Arkansas...especially central Arkansas...has been in a snow drought for awhile (at least 1111 days). However, that may change early
    next week. Much colder air is forecast by Saturday, lasting into next
    week. However, forecasting winter weather in Arkansas is a nightmare.
    You have the Ozarks and Ouachita Mountains in northern and western
    Arkansas, respectively...and that can dam up/bottle up the cold air
    from getting further into the state. The vertical temperature profile,
    from the ground through the midlevels to the clouds, makes all the difference in the world, as follows.

    You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!

    I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

    1) If the temperature is below freezing through the entire vertical column...the precipitation type is snow.

    I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

    If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

    2) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a shallow layer of
    warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is sleet (technically, ice pellets).

    Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

    3) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a deep layer of
    warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is freezing rain (an ice storm, with widespread
    and devasting, long term power outages and icy roads).

    This is the worst, yup. . .

    4) If the temperature is above freezing through the entire vertial column...the precipitation type is rain.

    Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

    And, that's meteorology 101 for today. <G> I'm not a meteorologist,
    but I'm an amateur weather enthusiast. I know enough to be dangerous...
    and "I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". <BG>

    *G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

    Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.

    Spit it out. :P

    Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!


    Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:

    Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-
    aggressive
    disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.

    You'll spit your teeth out on these. :P

    Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

    Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:

    Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me
    sing!

    Honest, Ocifer, I'm serfectly pober...not as think as you drunk I am,
    not
    under the alcfluence of incohol...and can straight a walk line. <G>

    Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
    I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
    Besides, I've only had tea martoonies
    And, anyways, I've got all day sober to Sunday up in
    I fool so feelish, I don't know who's me yet
    But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"


    Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk,
    & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

    "Impersonating an office, sir!"


    My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local web- accessible BBS. . .

    Whatever works. :)

    The charges now for dial-up analog lines (even if it's a "no frills
    line" are ridiculous. In many cases, over $75 a month...yet, a MagicJack VoIP line can be under $50 a year. The phone company can't touch that.

    Daryl

    ... This week was next week last week.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Feb 3 18:45:00 2021
    George,

    You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology
    (including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)

    I'll have to remember that one. <G>

    I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .

    If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed until
    7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

    You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow
    than I do/did!

    The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
    in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the peninsula (except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida
    oranges from California".

    I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the
    grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

    I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

    I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for
    "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

    I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they
    keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

    If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable
    only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

    Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
    it right back on your sidewalk.

    Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got
    to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

    It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

    This is the worst, yup. . .

    When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

    Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

    And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

    *G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you
    don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent
    nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

    I knew your name sounded familiar.

    Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

    I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
    I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
    sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.


    Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

    I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000.
    The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

    Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
    I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
    Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

    There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
    sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
    drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
    3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
    count. <G>

    But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

    The drunkard's version of Viagra.

    Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

    "Impersonating an office, sir!"

    Nice pun.

    Daryl

    ... ALGORITHM - Tipper's birth control method.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Feb 4 23:06:56 2021
    I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida
    area
    code when I called it. . .

    If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed
    until
    7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.

    How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do you figure?

    You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!

    The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
    in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the
    peninsula
    (except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida oranges from California".

    I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

    I think I'm seeing photos of frozen citrus (covered in ice coats & hanging icicles) every 2-3 years now, from Florida. ..

    I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(

    I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.

    Same for me, with orange juice :( But not grapefruit, for some reason. ..

    No dentures yet, bnuit my dentist lasdt wewek said that may soon be the
    option for me. ..

    I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .

    I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>

    Dandruff is too generous an upgrade from what I think of Sky-feces!

    If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone,
    because
    nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)

    Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
    it right back on your sidewalk.

    Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in for wheelchairs & others)

    Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I
    got
    to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!

    It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.

    Same where I am. 2cm is brutal, normally, bnut the year I movedhere, on Xmas Eve, there was 30 inches overnight! (I was housebound, even though I was to cook a turkey dinner for my old building's seniors & other shutins, & I had
    the turkey!)

    This is the worst, yup. . .

    When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.

    Those are bad anywhere, but worst for those not used to anywinter conditions.

    I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other
    than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

    Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!

    And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.

    It's dumped a lot of water on them?

    *G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?

    I knew your name sounded familiar.

    So why denying it? ;)

    Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!

    I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
    I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
    sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.

    Sounds good. I make the occasional batch of cinnamon toast for the kids
    (yeah, the "kids" yup)

    My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

    Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.

    I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000. The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.

    I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything,
    as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

    Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
    I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
    Besides, I've only had tea martoonies

    There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
    sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
    drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
    3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
    count. <G>

    I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is
    25mm)

    One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

    But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"

    The drunkard's version of Viagra.

    Drunks aren't getting a lot of prospects to use it with. . .

    Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.

    "Impersonating an office, sir!"

    Nice pun.

    I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones
    here & there)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Feb 5 15:56:00 2021
    George,

    How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do
    you figure?

    Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until 1990...
    and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

    I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that
    from so far away. . .

    The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
    In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and
    toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
    sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

    However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the
    bathroom. <G>

    Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in
    for wheelchairs & others)

    Sounds about right.

    I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything
    other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

    They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
    the weather.

    My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

    OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

    I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

    I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to
    date is 25mm)

    A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to childbirth.
    I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with no epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

    Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

    One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

    Ouch!!

    I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new
    ones here & there)

    Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The World Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the humor
    is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

    Daryl

    ... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Feb 8 06:02:34 2021
    George,

    How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology,
    do
    you figure?

    Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until
    1990...
    and didn't even know what one was until 1985.

    This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

    I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .

    The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
    In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
    sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.

    However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the bathroom. <G>

    You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

    Crummy. . .that can get expensive!

    Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot of
    that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

    Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built
    in
    for wheelchairs & others)

    Sounds about right.

    First time I saw this, I'd come home by bus. Got dropped off across the street, as usual, then wen to wheel across at the corner & nope -- mound of snow ditrectly on the curb cut, so I tried to knock out a path. Luckily a motorist saw me & took pity, using his trunk shovel to clear the way for me.
    On the other side, I stayed on the road & wheeled up to the mall driveway.

    I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!

    They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
    the weather.

    Sounds all too familiar. . .

    My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)

    OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>

    I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

    I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a
    year
    even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is 25mm)

    A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to
    childbirth.
    I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, with
    no
    epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.

    I've met these women, too, & all say kidney stones is a worse pain.

    My explanation: both involve something larger going through a smaller
    passage.

    BUT:
    in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

    For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

    I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead
    porcupine, breach.

    Ain't nobody got time for t hat! (apparently, I'll make the time! *sigh*

    ObFunny:

    A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
    I said that's a hard pass for me.

    It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to be properly
    considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

    Chuck Norris passed 6 kidney stones...
    Thanos used them in his Infinity Gauntlet.

    Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
    A: Urine trouble.

    Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
    A: It gets kidney stoned.



    Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".

    One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!

    Ouch!!

    I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones here & there)

    Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The
    World
    Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and the
    humor
    is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.

    Daryl

    ... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Feb 8 16:15:00 2021
    George,

    This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

    Your name sounds very familiar.

    You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?

    I'm in the southwest part of Little Rock, but it's a few miles to
    the stores where I shop.

    Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot
    of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

    Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch.
    Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
    nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show up.

    I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from
    my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

    I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

    The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old fast.
    I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

    in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some.
    (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.

    And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot dialate.

    For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.

    It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

    I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead porcupine, breach.

    Now, that's a royal pain in the posterior and elsewhere!!

    ObFunny:

    A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
    I said that's a hard pass for me.

    Sort of like the joke where the coach asked the kid if he could pass
    a football. The kid replied "Only if I can swallow it". :P

    It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a
    baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's
    ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to
    be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

    As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

    Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
    A: Urine trouble.

    In spades.

    Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
    A: It gets kidney stoned.

    If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

    Daryl

    ... There can't be a crisis today; my schedule's already full.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Feb 10 07:54:28 2021
    George,

    This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.

    Your name sounds very familiar.

    How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

    If you Google it, you can find some of our old conversations. . .

    Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a
    lot
    of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.

    Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch. Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
    nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show
    up.

    We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim
    delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

    I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.

    My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

    They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for
    something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

    I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls

    The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old
    fast.
    I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>

    As promised by my dentist, my extraction holes have toughened up & I can chew with them just fine.

    in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end
    you
    get a eautiful human baby.

    And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot
    dialate.

    I can directly & recently verify.

    For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a
    spiky
    chunk of rock.

    It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

    More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

    It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true
    to
    be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)

    As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

    If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

    Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
    A: It gets kidney stoned.

    If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

    That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about these little *******s!

    I think we've milked renal calculi as far as it'll go, so topic change for
    the ObPuns:

    When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
    So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.
    -=-
    Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward staff.
    It’s a midwife crisis.
    -=-
    Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
    So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
    -=-
    When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)
    -=-
    At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
    The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

    aaaand. . . .FIN.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Thu Feb 11 11:54:00 2021
    George,

    How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

    Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
    the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
    the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
    certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
    the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
    to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

    We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

    That's the only way to do it.

    My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

    That's awfully nice of them.

    They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

    I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the
    weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
    have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

    It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

    More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

    And one heck of a bite!!

    As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".

    If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.

    Touche'. <G>

    If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".

    That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about
    these little *******s!

    That's for sure.

    When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
    So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.

    ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing Table" you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

    -=-
    Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward
    staff. It’s a midwife crisis.

    For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be available
    to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll believe
    it when I see it.

    -=-
    Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
    So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.

    As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see
    outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

    -=-
    When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for
    delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)

    Never mind Special Delivery.

    -=-
    At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and
    said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
    The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one
    my wife did make!"

    He's not the brightest light in the socket.

    Daryl

    ... Archaeologist: A person whose career lies in ruins.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Fri Feb 12 07:38:52 2021
    George,

    How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!

    Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
    the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
    the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
    certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
    the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
    to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.

    I was dial-up only, not telnet. . .

    We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her
    statuses
    like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second
    they
    claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.

    That's the only way to do it.

    We are in Nextdoor (local chat groups, everywhere) & they often put out
    photos of porch pirates.

    My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up
    when
    possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.

    That's awfully nice of them.

    Very, well, I'm in my 50ss & have many prescriptions, so I guess he comes out ahead, overall.

    They used to give out 7X Airmiles(7 per $20), but a law got made stopping
    that. :( (government figured part of the fees they paid were being used to
    pay for loyalty perks, I guess)

    They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.

    I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
    have it delivered Saturday afternoon.

    I get mine usually in 2 hourts if I say "right away" but usually schedule it around my wife's schedule(kids,. dog, beetles), so she's not interrupting to bring the groceries in (& put them away)

    It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.

    More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.

    And one heck of a bite!!

    rrrripppping & tearing its way through soft flesh. . .

    When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and
    the
    wife said to go in and change him.
    So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and
    left.

    ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby Changing
    Table"
    you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>

    I swa a pic of as grafitti'ed chaging table that had a pentagram in the
    centre & "place baby here"; wonder how many babies had to wait until they got home for a change!

    For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should be
    available
    to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'll
    believe
    it when I see it.

    Yup. Good way to look at it. Hope for best, expect worst - saves the inevitable disappointment of doing it backwards. . .


    As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>

    & in certain amateur & professional internet videos

    At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
    The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"

    He's not the brightest light in the socket.

    Fulldeckisms; Today's date for you is 2/12, so here'dsd 212:

    And Abraham did look at her as though she were several saddle bags short of a camel load."
    "Duh!" on parade.
    $HOME = /dev/null.
    3K RAM free, no EMS.
    A .22 caliber intellect in a .357 Magnum world.
    A 1.0 in a 4.5 installation.
    A 10K brain attached to a 9600 baud mouth.
    A 20th century man... The guy has no future.
    A 3.5-inch drive, but data on punch cards.
    A bad case of colon nose.
    A barnacle on the ship of progress.
    A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.
    A brain like a BB in a boxcar / box of Corn Flakes.
    A butter knife in a steak / prime rib world.
    A candidate for optorectomy. (Disconnection of optic nerve from rectum, to repair a crappy outlook on life.)
    A couple of blocks behind the parade.
    A day late and a dollar short.
    A deadbolt with a broken cylinder.
    A dim bulb in the marquee of life.
    A face designed for radio.
    A face designed in a wind tunnel.
    A few dice short of a full bag / role-player.
    A few photons short of a hologram / holodeck.
    A flash of light, a cloud of dust, and... What was the question?
    A great deal of pride, but very little to be proud of.
    A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
    A hemorrhoid on the face of the world.
    A hop, skip, and jump from success, but to get there he'd have to give up chewing gum.
    A kangaroo loose in her top paddock.
    A lap behind the field.
    A legend in his own mind.
    A logically defunct twit.
    A looney tune.
    A lot of feathers but not much chicken. -- Kim Mitchell
    A medical mystery.
    A mental midget with the IQ of a fencepost. -- Tom Waits
    A mind as empty as the sleeping pill concession at a honeymoon hotel.
    A mind like wet tennis shoes... Makes squishy noises when running.
    A minefield of information.
    A modest little person, with much to be modest about. -- Churchill
    A natural talent for finding subliminal messages in ice cubes.
    A Neanderthal brain in a Cro-Magnon body.
    A notch off the timing mark.
    A one-bit brain with a parity error.
    A pacifist out of necessity / always loses in a battle of wits.
    A PBS mind in an MTV world.
    A penalty kick over the bar. (In soccer.)
    A peripheral visionary.
    A person of rare intelligence... It's rare when he shows any.
    A photographic memory, but no film / never developed / the lens cover is
    glued on.
    A poor excuse for protoplasm.
    A prime candidate for natural deselection.
    A quart low.
    A real rocket scientologist.
    A real space cadet.
    A return with no gosub.
    A room temperature IQ -- centigrade.
    A semitone flat on the high notes.
    A single-cylinder brain in a V8 world.
    A socketless drone in a plug-and-play world.
    A square with only three sides.
    A standard deviant.
    A statue in a world of pigeons.
    A T1 line of pure stupid.
    A teapot with a cracked lid.
    A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.
    A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.
    A VGA card and a Herc monitor.
    A victim of retroactive birth control.
    A violin minus the bow.
    A walking argument for birth control / post-natal abortion.
    A waste of skin.
    A wind-up clock without a key.
    About half smart.
    Adult child of alien invaders.
    Afraid she'll void her warranty if she thinks too much.
    Ain't no psionicist. (role-playing games)
    Airhead / bubble-brain.
    Aliens zapped him with a stupidity ray -- twice.
    Alive today only because it's illegal to kill him.
    All belt, no trousers.
    All booster, no payload.
    All cassette, no tape.
    All crown, no filling.
    All fetch and no execute.
    All foam, no beer.
    All foliage, no fruit.
    All hammer, no nail.
    All hat and no cattle.
    All hawk and no spit. -- Molly Ivins talking about Ross Perot
    All he remembers about his middle name is the first letter.
    All his eggs in the same basket.
    All his learning curves look like Mount Everest.
    All icing, no cake.
    All lace curtains, no knickers.
    All lime and salt, no tequila.
    All missile, no warhead.
    All of his bytes are odd.
    All Preparation, no H.
    All shot, no powder.
    All show, no go.
    All signs and no scenery. -- John Taylor
    All the lights don't shine in her marquee.
    All the notes, none of the music.
    All the personality of linoleum flooring / plasticene / putty / caulking / saran wrap / a bowl of oatmeal / a plastic spoon.
    All the sex appeal of a wet paper bag.
    All thrust/mach, no vector.
    All wax and no wick.
    Alphabetizes junk mail / T-shirts / canonical lists.
    Already visualizing the duct tape over his mouth.
    Always in the right place, but at the wrong time.
    Always late... Her ancestors arrived on the June Flower.
    Always needs to have jokes explained.
    Always responds to "Make Money Fast" postings on the Net.
    Always sharpening his sleeping skills.
    Always speaks her mind, so usually she's speechless.
    Amplifier turned all the way up but no one's playing / all I hear is white noise.
    An 8080 in a 68000 environment.
    An AA battery in a D-cell world.
    An alligator. (All mouth, no ears.)
    An Apple //e on UUCP.
    An early example of the Peter Principle.
    An ego like a black hole.
    An example of how the dinosaurs survived for millions of years with walnut- sized brains.
    An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
    An expert on padded cells.
    An expert on the historical significance of cottage cheese.
    An inch short and a stroke early.
    An innundated receptacle of primordial ooze.
    An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
    An XT clone in a Pentium zone.
    Ano-fossal ambiguity. (Can't tell his ass from a hole in the ground.)
    Another engineering prototype that should not have been shipped.
    Answers the door when the phone rings.
    Any connection between his reality and ours is purely coincidental.
    Any similarity between him and a human being is purely coincidental.
    Any slower and he'd be in reverse. -- Gignac
    Any smarter and he'd be retarded.
    Argues with herself -- and loses!
    As a baby his parents stood him on his soft spot.
    As bent as a corkscrew.
    As bright as a nightlight / small appliance bulb / tulip bulb.
    As dumb as an ox.
    As focused as a fart.
    As funny as a fire in a children's home.
    As handy as a whiskbroom and twice as intelligent. -- Peter DeVries
    As happy as if he had brains / was in his right mind.
    As happy as the village idiot.
    As popular as a French kiss at a family reunion.
    As popular as a pork pie at a Jewish wedding / synagogue.
    As queer/rare as a nine bob note. (Very English.)
    As quick as a corpse.
    As sensible as entering an ass-kicking contest with a porcupine.
    As sharp as a bag of wet mice. -- Foghorn Leghorn
    As sharp as a donut / marble / bowling ball / beachball / pin head / wet
    sponge / bowl of Jello / mashed potato sandwich / boiled weiner / pound of
    wet leather, and twice as smart.
    As smart as a politician/lawyer is honest.
    As smart as an automatic email responder script.
    As smart as bait.
    As smart as Christie Brinkley is ugly.
    As strong as an ox and as dumb as two.
    As thick as champ. (Irish; champ is mostly mashed spuds and cabbage.)
    As thick as two short planks / two half bricks.
    As useful as a back pocket in a vest. (Very English, vest = undershirt.)
    As useful as a brick lifevest.
    As useful as a carpet fitter's ladder.
    As useful as a cheese sandwich to a drowning ferret.
    As useful as a chocolate teapot / fireguard.
    As useful as a condom vending machine in the Vatican. -- Rimmer, Red Dwarf
    As useful as a football bat.
    As useful as a fur-lined walking stick.
    As useful as a glass hammer.
    As useful as a hip pocket on a T-shirt.
    As useful as a kickstand on a horse.
    As useful as a lead parachute.
    As useful as a mint-flavored suppository.
    As useful as a spit valve on a guitar.
    As useful as a top hat with pockets.
    As useful as an ashtray on a motorcycle.
    As useful as an inflatable cheeseknife.
    As useful as bolognese sauce on shoe laces.
    As useful as bookends down a well.
    As useful as dinosaur repellent.
    As useful as green stop lights.
    As useful as passing gas in a spacesuit / boiler suit.
    As useful as piss on a forest fire.
    As useful as reverse gear on a lawn mower.
    As useful as tits on a bullfrog / bull / boar-hog / turtle.
    As welcome as a priest at a cub scout jamboree.
    As welcome as John Ashcroft at a NAMBLA convention.
    As welcome as Michael Jordan at a Hair Club for Men convention.
    As welcome as Saddam Hussein at a Dick Cheney roast.
    As welcome as Sara Brady at an NRA convention.
    As worn out as a cucumber in a convent.
    At least he has a positive attitude about his destructive habits.
    Attic's a little dusty.
    Back burners not fully operating.
    Backstreet Boy in a Talking Heads world.
    Bad spot on the disk.
    Baler done run out of twine.
    Bandwidth limited.
    Barney's his hero.
    Bats have flown the belfry, and now he's all alone.
    Bats in the belfry.
    Batteries not included.
    Beamed down and back up one too many times.
    Beating his head around the bush.
    Been napping in front of the ion shield again.
    Been one too many times through the wormhole.
    Been playing with his wand too much.
    Been playing with the pharmacy section again.
    Been short on oxygen one time too many.
    Been using her head as a mass driver.

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)