In Japan, they have replaced the--- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error
messages with haiku poetry messages. Haiku
poetry has strict construction and
inscrutable rules.
Each poem has only three lines, 17 syllables:
five syllables in the first line, seven in
the second, five in the third.
Haiku are used to communicate timeless
messages, often evoking powerful insight
through extreme brevity - the essence of Zen.
Your file was so big.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
The Web site you seek
Cannot be located, but
Countless more exist.
Chaos reigns within.
Reflect, repent, and reboot.
Order shall return.
Program aborting:
Close all that you have worked on.
You ask far too much.
Windows NT crashed.
I am the Blue Screen of Death.
No one hears your screams.
Yesterday it worked.
Today it is not working.
Windows is like that.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand-dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My Novel" not found.
The Tao that is seen
Is not the true Tao - until
You bring fresh toner.
Stay the patient course.
Of little worth is your ire.
The network is down.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Out of memory.
We wish to hold the whole sky,
But we never will.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
Serious error.
All shortcuts have disappeared.
Screen. Mind. Both are blank.
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS in Jax?
BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had
more snow than me this winter, too!)
Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.
Things That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-aggressive disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.
Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me;
Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me sing!
My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local
web- accessible BBS. . .
George,in
Is this the same Daruyl Stout who, IOIRC, was sysop of a Florida BBS
father'sJax?
Nope...I originally am from the Miami, Florida area, but my late
job transferred the family to Arkansas in mid-1977, and I've been heresince
then. I didn't start calling other BBS's until 1985, and didn't start myown
until 1990.
BTW, you're still getting more snow than I do here in Canada (HI had more snow than me this winter, too!)
Much of Arkansas...especially central Arkansas...has been in a snow drought for awhile (at least 1111 days). However, that may change early
next week. Much colder air is forecast by Saturday, lasting into next
week. However, forecasting winter weather in Arkansas is a nightmare.
You have the Ozarks and Ouachita Mountains in northern and western
Arkansas, respectively...and that can dam up/bottle up the cold air
from getting further into the state. The vertical temperature profile,
from the ground through the midlevels to the clouds, makes all the difference in the world, as follows.
1) If the temperature is below freezing through the entire vertical column...the precipitation type is snow.
2) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a shallow layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is sleet (technically, ice pellets).
3) If the temperature is below freezing aloft, with a deep layer of
warm air at the mid-levels, but below freezing toward the ground, the precipitation type is freezing rain (an ice storm, with widespread
and devasting, long term power outages and icy roads).
4) If the temperature is above freezing through the entire vertial column...the precipitation type is rain.
And, that's meteorology 101 for today. <G> I'm not a meteorologist,
but I'm an amateur weather enthusiast. I know enough to be dangerous...
and "I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night". <BG>
Things That Are Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
Indubitably; Innovative; Preliminary; Proliferation; Cinnamon.
Spit it out. :P
aggressiveThings That Are VERY Difficult to Say When You're Drunk:
Specificity; Cogito ergo sum; British; Constitution; Passive-
disorder; Loquacious; Transubstantiate.
You'll spit your teeth out on these. :P
sing!Things That Are Downright IMPOSSIBLE to Say When You're Drunk:
Thanks, but I don't want to have sex; Nope, no more booze for me; Sorry, but you're not really my type; Good evening, officer, isn't it lovely out tonight? Oh, I just couldn't-- no one wants to hear me
Honest, Ocifer, I'm serfectly pober...not as think as you drunk I am,not
under the alcfluence of incohol...and can straight a walk line. <G>
My DOS/Dialup computer is not hooked up, so I'm going through a local web- accessible BBS. . .
Whatever works. :)
The charges now for dial-up analog lines (even if it's a "no frills
line" are ridiculous. In many cases, over $75 a month...yet, a MagicJack VoIP line can be under $50 a year. The phone company can't touch that.
Daryl
... This week was next week last week.
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You sure seem like the guy, including your love of meteorology
(including knowing it has nothing to do with falling space rocks) ;)
I'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida area code when I called it. . .
You used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow
than I do/did!
I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the
grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(
I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for
"Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .
If it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone, because nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable
only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)
Not a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I got
to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!
This is the worst, yup. . .
Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!
*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you
don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent
nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?
Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!
Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.
Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies
But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"
Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.
"Impersonating an office, sir!"
areaI'm pretty sure Thunderbolt BBS (in your orgin line) had a Forida
untilcode when I called it. . .
If there was one, it wasn't mine...I didn't even know BBS's existed
7 years after family got transplanted to Arkansas from Florida.
peninsulaYou used to rag me about Canada being so cold, while seeing more snow than I do/did!
The whole weather picture is topsy turvy. I was in Miami when it snowed
in 1977, and while it didn't "stick", it was observed. Much of the
(except the extreme south) went below freezing overnight, and much of the state's citrus crop that year was wiped out. It ended up being "Florida oranges from California".
I'm kind of pissed off that the creeping Ice Age has killed the grapefruit growing territory of Florida, & I can't get my jug of pure unsweetened white grapefruit juice each week any more. . . :'(
I never cared for grapefruit juice, and the orange juice gives me canker sores in my mouth. I've been wearing dentures for 21 years now.
I've h eard somethig similar. . . I don't have to have any love for "Sky- Feces" (what I call it), though. . . especially being in a wheelchair. . .
I may eventually end up in one...I've been disabled since 2004, and they keep finding stuff wrong with me. As for the S.S., think of it as cosmic dandruff. <G>
becauseIf it snows 2cm, I'm housebound for weeks until it's all gone,
nobody shovels! (Or they shovel an 8" trail down the centre suitable only for a supermodel or chihuahua, walking single file)
Or the moment you clear the sidewalk, the snowplow comes by, the dumps
it right back on your sidewalk.
gotNot a fan of this weither, because locals can't drive in this, & I
to worry, even on the sidewalk, about getting hit full-on, at speed!
It's so much worse the farther south you get, because this part of the country doesn't see winter storms that often.
This is the worst, yup. . .
When north Arkansas had back to back ice storms in 2000, much of north Arkansas had no power for 2 months.
Lots of that here on the Wet Coast!
And, it's really bad in the fire/burn areas, with all the mudslides.
*G* Yup, you're the guy I recall. . . from my dialling days. . .you don't remember the guy who called kitty-corner across the continent nearly daily to hang out on your BBS?
I knew your name sounded familiar.
Yeah, that YouTube cinnamon challenge is dangerous!
I saw a deal on Facebook the other day for cinammon toast cake...
I started drooling. <G> I used to make that years ago, with cinnamon
sugar, butter, and bread...put it in the toaster oven, then graze.
Mine are still original & somewhat well-rooted in my mandible.
I had my 4 wisdom teeth out in 1978, then the rest of the teeth in 2000. The worst part in both cases wasn't the pain...it was the bleeding.
Starkle, starkle, little twink Who the hell you are, I think
I'm not as drunk as some thinkle peep I am
Besides, I've only had tea martoonies
There you go. When I go to a restaurant, I ask for a pitcher of
sweet tea, because "I'm into heavy drinking". <G> I've found myself
drinking 2 to 3 liters of flavored water in a day...so, I'll give you
3 guesses what that ends up doing overnight, and the first 2 don't
count. <G>
But, the drunker I sit here, the longer I get"
The drunkard's version of Viagra.
Cop sees a man carryinng a desk, computer, & lamp staggering up the sidewalk, & asks him wha he thinks he's doing.
"Impersonating an office, sir!"
Nice pun.
How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology, do
you figure?
I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that
from so far away. . .
Here they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built in
for wheelchairs & others)
I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything
other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!
My fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)
I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls
I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a year even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to
date is 25mm)
One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!
I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new
ones here & there)
George,do
How many Daryls ran a Thunderbolt BBS & had a love for meteorology,
1990...you figure?
Offhand, I don't know. The thing is, I wasn't running a BBS until
and didn't even know what one was until 1985.
I wasn't paying attent8ion to news in those days, & even less to that from so far away. . .
The oranges and grapefruits I don't worry about, as I don't eat them.
In winter weather, around here, they run out of bread, milk, beer, and toilet paper faster than you can get to the store!! I rarely drink milk anymore, never have cared for beer...but if I'm doing lunch meat
sandwiches, I need bread...and of course, everyone needs toilet paper.
However, I've wondered if toilet paper was reading material in the bathroom. <G>
inHere they dump it onto the curb cuts (every corner has a ramp built
for wheelchairs & others)
Sounds about right.
I don't see the problem; if you're driving & conditions are anything other than ideal, SLOW THE FLEEP DOWN!
They drive around here like there are no speed limits, no matter what
the weather.
yearMy fave cake-y bread is one my wifew makes in the breadmaker: African Samosa Bread (contains cooked hamburger & onions, with spices)
OK, we need 3 minutes to pause for drooling. <G>
I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls
I need to drink lots of water daily, as I get 5-30 kidney stones a
childbirth.even doing so; If I don't, I get even more & bigger ones! (biggest to date is 25mm)
A kidney stone is the closest thing a man can get pain wise to
I knew a woman who said she'd rather have quintuplets in hard labor, withno
epidural, than one kidney stone. That pretty much sums it up.
Another woman said "If us women can pass a kid, you men can pass a stone"... to which I replied "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".World
One summer I was passing 10+ pea-sized stones every week!
Ouch!!
I love puns! I'm trying to collect & save them all! (& making up new ones here & there)
Several years ago in Austin, Texas, around early May, they had "The
Championship Pun Off". I went to a few of them many years ago, and thehumor
is drier than the Sahara. <G> But, all the proceeds benefited the O. Henry Museum down there.
Daryl
... W-E-H-T-H-U-R: Worst spell of weather in months!!
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.
You're off the beaten path & not close to a city?
Can you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a lot
of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.
I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls
in child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some.
(the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end you get a eautiful human baby.
For me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a spiky chunk of rock.
I suggest kidney stones could be compared to giving birth to a dead porcupine, breach.
ObFunny:
A guy in an alley tried to sell me his kidney stones.
I said that's a hard pass for me.
It's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a
baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's
ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true to
be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)
Q: What did the kidney stone say to the man?
A: Urine trouble.
Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.
George,
This would've been in the early to mid 1990s.
Your name sounds very familiar.
lotCan you order from Amazon & have stuff you need delivered? We do a
up.of that now, using up our various covid relief cheques.
Not the way folks steal stuff out of my mailbox and off my front porch. Plus, I have chiropractic appointments at midday, and ham radio traffic
nets in the evenings. So, I can't wait forever for these jokers to show
I can order groceries from Kroger, and have prescriptions delivered from my pharmacy, but that adds delivery charges to the bill.
fast.I had my wisdoms out in '91 &, yup, I'm a bleeder, too -- gross as anything, as it keeps gushing coppery mouthfuls
The diet of scrambled eggs, mashed potatoes, and ice cream, got old
I can gum stuff now, if needed...but I prefer to graze. <G>
youin child birth the passage is designed to do this & will dilate some. (the placement of the G-Spot does a lot to help this), & at the end
dialate.get a eautiful human baby.
And, unlike the female cervix, the male penis and urethra cannot
spikyFor me, with stones, it's a jagged rock tearing its way through a hair-sized tube with no built-i flexibility. At the end I get a
chunk of rock.
It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.
toIt's obviously worse to pass a kidney stone than giving birth to a baby. Because people always say they want another baby but no one's ever said they want another kidney stone. (ok, this one is too true
be properly considered funny by me & other victims of kidney stones)
As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".
Q: What happens when a kidney smokes weed?
A: It gets kidney stoned.
If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".
How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!
We have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her statuses like a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second they claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.
My pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up when possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.
They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.
It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.
More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.
As the tagline notes, "if men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament".
If men could get pregnant, that means they'd have a womb & they do: womb-men.
If you have several, you can name them "Sly And The Family Stone".
That's a concert I don't care to experience again! Nothing sly about
these little *******s!
When we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and the wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and left.
-=-
Due to the Coronavirus, there is a huge shortage of maternity ward
staff. It’s a midwife crisis.
-=-
Nurses in the maternity ward don’t want babies to be in shock by the temperature change when they’re born.
So they make sure it’s set at womb temperature.
-=-
When an Amazon employee takes maternity leave, are they out for
delivery? (double relevance to the post! *LOL*)
-=-
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and
said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one
my wife did make!"
George,
How many international dial-up callers have you HAD?!
Do you mean from dial-up or telnet?? I've had some from outside
the US, but they've been from Canada or the UK. However, I've got
the Peerblock utility in place to block hacking attempts from
certain areas. I also have a CAPTCHA sequence that changes around
the clock...if folks don't enter the right code (they're told what
to enter), they're stuck there until they disconnect.
statusesWe have the same issue -- porch pirates. My wife watches her
theylike a hawk & is ware before delivery t hat it's due & the second
claim delivery complete, & we grab it off the ramp.
That's the only way to do it.
whenMy pharemacy gives delivery no charge, but asks if I could pick up
possible, as he pays the $10 delivery fee himself.
That's awfully nice of them.
They're nearly next door, so I usually can & do grab it when out for something else. Groceries are a $4 fee from the delivery provider.
I was told to order 24 hours before pickup. To give it a break in the weather (it won't be warm by any means), I'll order stuff Friday, and
have it delivered Saturday afternoon.
It looks like a pebble I've seen on the ground.
More like a rotary saw blade, but smaller, with bigger teeth.
And one heck of a bite!!
theWhen we were leaving the maternity ward the baby pooped himself and
left.wife said to go in and change him.
So I went inside, put him down, took one of the clean babies, and
ROFLMBO!! That's good!! That's along the line of the "Baby ChangingTable"
you see in the bathrooms. I guess that's where you change the baby for something else. <G>
For sure. I saw a news story today that "vaccinations should beavailable
to much of the population by April. Like the weather forecast, I'llbelieve
it when I see it.
As the late Paul Lynde noted, the only time the unborn baby can see outside of the womb before birth is during ballet practice. <G>
At the maternity hospital, a doctor handed the husband the baby and said "I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
The husband handed the baby back and said "well then, give me the one my wife did make!"
He's not the brightest light in the socket.
Sysop: | Rempala |
---|---|
Location: | Richlands, NC |
Users: | 103 |
Nodes: | 10 (0 / 10) |
Uptime: | 84:45:45 |
Calls: | 157 |
Files: | 6 |
Messages: | 110,484 |