A man and his wife started out in the car after a quarrel. She sat
in the back seat, and continued to berate him for his faults. In her excitement, she pounded on the car door, and it flew open.

Several blocks later, one of their neighbors flagged the man down.
"Your wife fell out of the car back there," he said.

The man looked over at the back seat, and replied "Thank goodness!!
I thought I had lost my hearing".

-- Tal Bonham

***

A young lady was having problems with severe coughing, breathing, etc.,
so, she called her doctor to set up an appointment to see if she had a
bad cold, or was coming down with pneumonia.

In the examining room, he has her take her shirt off, and asks her to
inhale deeply, so he can hear if she has fluid, congestion, etc. in her
lungs. He tells her "big breaths". She replies "Yeth Thir, and I'm only Thixteen".

-- Unknown

***

A couple was in a fancy area restaurant, and they saw some friends at
another table. Greeting their friends, one of them asked the gentleman
a question...and he promptly planted a big kiss on the other couples
wife, with her husband sitting right there.

The problem was that he was losing his hearing, and that he
misunderstood the question...which was actually "How are the kids??".
--- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)

Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-

A man and his wife started out in the car after a quarrel. She sat
in the back seat, and continued to berate him for his faults. In her excitement, she pounded on the car door, and it flew open.

Several blocks later, one of their neighbors flagged the man down.
"Your wife fell out of the car back there," he said.

The man looked over at the back seat, and replied "Thank goodness!!
I thought I had lost my hearing".

A cop pulled over a driver who took a while to respond to his lights.

"Sir, I'm on the end of my shift. If you can give me a good reason why you took so long to pull over, I'll just let you go."

The man thought for a moment and said: "Last month, my wife ran off with a police officer. For a while, I thought it was you trying to being her back."

The officer responded with "Good evening, sir." and walked off.


... My other computer is a Tandy 1100FD.
=== MultiMail/Linux v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: Diamond Mine Online BBS - bbs.dmine.net:24 (1:275/89)

A couple was in a fancy area restaurant, and they saw some friends at another table. Greeting their friends, one of them asked the gentleman
a question...and he promptly planted a big kiss on the other couples
wife, with her husband sitting right there.

The problem was that he was losing his hearing, and that he
misunderstood the question...which was actually "How are the kids??".

I'm confused -- what did he hear that led to the kiss?

A man was out with his wife at a fine restaurant when a tall blond woman approacghed him, saying, "Bill, so long! How ARE you?" & proceeds to deep- french him for several minutes while Bill's wife steamed.

After the blonde left, the wife said, "Who. was. that?"

"Oh, that's my mistress," answered Bill, gaily.

"I'm leaving you!"

"Wait, wait!" said Bill, "if you leave me, that's the end of living in my penthouse on Malibu Beach, & no more brand new Masarati on your birthday
every November."

"Fine!" she fumed, "she is cute, though!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

Ron,

A cop pulled over a driver who took a while to respond to his lights.

"Sir, I'm on the end of my shift. If you can give me a good reason why you took so long to pull over, I'll just let you go."

The man thought for a moment and said: "Last month, my wife ran off
with a police officer. For a while, I thought it was you trying to
being her back."

The officer responded with "Good evening, sir." and walked off.

Bingo. <G>

Daryl

... I just bought a cured ham. I wonder what it had??
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

A man and his wife started out in the car after a quarrel. She sat
in the back seat, and continued to berate him for his faults. In her excitement, she pounded on the car door, and it flew open.

Several blocks later, one of their neighbors flagged the man down.
"Your wife fell out of the car back there," he said.

The man looked over at the back seat, and replied "Thank goodness!!
I thought I had lost my hearing".

Classic!

Then there were these three elderly golfers whomet regularly to play.

One such get together they began talking about the newhearing aids they'd bought.

Alfred said he paid $3,000 & it worksdd pretty good.
Ben said the same.
Charlie spoke up, "Well, I spent $53,000, after remortaging the house, & I
got the best in the business!"

"Boy, it sure is windy today," said Charlie.

"No, I think it's Thursday" replied Ben.

"Me, too," said Alfred, "let's go get a beer."

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

The man looked over at the back seat, and replied "Thank goodness!!
I thought I had lost my hearing".

Classic!

I would've loved to have seen the look on his face when told the news
by the constabulary. <G>

Then there were these three elderly golfers whomet regularly to play.

One such get together they began talking about the newhearing aids
they'd bought.

The one I like is where these 2 guys were playing golf, and noticed two
women ahead of them on the course, that were playing SLOW. They reasoned
that it'd be good to ask if they could play through, or they'd be behind
them all day.

Well, the first guy goes up there, and then comes back...telling his
buddy that "I can't do it. One's my wife, and the other's my girl friend!!".

"No problem", his friend says...and he goes up there.

Moments later, he's back, and replies "Ain't it a small world??!!" <G>

Daryl

... Elusikey: The key that is invariably lost in the bottom of a purse.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

George,

The man looked over at the back seat, and replied "Thank goodness!!
I thought I had lost my hearing".

Classic!

I would've loved to have seen the look on his face when told the news
by the constabulary. <G>

For sure, & as he cuffs go on, too, eh?

> The one I like is where these 2 guys were playing golf, and noticed two

women ahead of them on the course, that were playing SLOW. They reasoned that it'd be good to ask if they could play through, or they'd be behind them all day.

Well, the first guy goes up there, and then comes back...telling his
buddy that "I can't do it. One's my wife, and the other's my girl

friend!!".

"No problem", his friend says...and he goes up there.

Moments later, he's back, and replies "Ain't it a small world??!!" <G>

the there was this one golfer, seeinig two joggers, turns to his partner & says, "Look at those idiots, out jogging in this blizzard!"

I always say I want to start jogging.
It's a running joke.

Have you heard of the workout where you drink rum and then do jogging?
It's called Ba-cardio

Whenever my wife wants me to go jogging, I immediately wrap myself with an American flag.
Because those colors don’t run.

Q: Why should you never go for a jog if it is raining cats and dogs outside?
A: You might step in a poodle!

Wanted to get fit by starting running. Bought a book called How to Jog.
Imagine my disappointment when I realised it was Volume 9 of a 24-Volume encyclopaedia.

Got the new expansion pack for my treadmill
. . .Outdoor jogging

This morning, I jogged around the block 15 times.
Then I picked it up, and put it back in my kid’s toy box.

While I was at the gym, I decided to hop on a treadmill.
People started giving me weird looks, so I started jogging instead.

If you have trouble remembering your password, find a picture of some running shoes and stare at it.
maybe it'll help jog your memory.


Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)