Childbirth Humor:

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Received from FranCMT2.
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Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

It's worked for umpteen millennia, but now they want to switch it up; a possibly(probably) true Los Angeles story:

A: I heard you just had a baby?
B: Yes.
A: Is it a boy or a girl?
B: How should I know? It's not old enough to TELL me yet!

I used to tell people, "I hope to have three kids -- one of each." & let THEM figure it out!

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Ray Romano does a funny stand up bit about his twins, & speaks of the key difference betweebn boys & girls.

When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on your forehead.
. . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

This is the new normal. HAH! Kids are your punishment for enjoying sex!

In the first few months of my wife's pregnancy she wasn't showing
The baby was inapparent

Bought a home pregnancy test.
Turns out, my house is pregnant.

I got my wife 4 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive
She’s now worried about how we are going to raise 4 kids.

Gerald, a young bull elephant was using the bathroom at his girlfriend's Bethany's apartment when he noticed one of those little pregnancy test
things, tucked behind the cupboard...
... he picked it up carefully with his trunk and peered at the little window with a racing heart...

Positive! ... Brenda was pregnant!

OMG... fear, excitement, shock... and yet more worrying "why hasn't she told me?"

A hundred scenarios raced through his head, his ears trembling, his trunk twitching as each played out...

Finally he calmed... maybe she was waiting for the right moment to tell him
the news?

He chose to be patient... he watched her carefully the whole day, carefully avoiding anything that might show that he knew... but Bethany gave no hints whatsoever.

Several days went by, and he grew more and more anxious.

Finally, he could take it no longer...

"Bethany..." he said

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

My wife's pregnany lasted so long it seemed like a maternity.

You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently in
labor, dial 8...

Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen, my girlfriend said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the
slyest look I've ever seen.

Q: What do programmers call an unplanned pregnancy?
A: Fetal error.

I have felt heavily invested in my wife’s pregnancy ever since she first told me.
After all, I provided the seed money.

Q: What happens after pregnancy?
A: gnancy

True story: I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy counselling centre; While
entering in the comment cards, one had in answer to, "What could we do to improve your experience?": "Maybe some soft lighting & music."

I said: "Isn't that what got her here in the first place?"; my boss liked it
so much she put it, anonymously, into the next newsletter.
-=-
I asked my sister how her pregnancy is going. My dad interrupts, "Swell!"

A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the eyes and says:
Your Kid in Me!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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George,

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

It's worked for umpteen millennia, but now they want to switch it up; a possibly(probably) true Los Angeles story:

In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

A: I heard you just had a baby?
B: Yes.
A: Is it a boy or a girl?
B: How should I know? It's not old enough to TELL me yet!

I don't know whether it's a boy or girl, so I don't know whether you're
an aunt or an uncle.

I used to tell people, "I hope to have three kids -- one of each." &
let THEM figure it out!

A case of mistaken indemnity.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

That takes practice!!

When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the
new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on your forehead. . . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!

Yep.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

Or the kids complain all year that "I can't wait for summer vacation
to get here!!". Now that it's here "I'm bored!! There's nothing to do!!
I can't wait for school to get here!!".

This is the new normal. HAH! Kids are your punishment for enjoying sex!

If it started with our thoughts and fantasies, puberty killed everyone's virginity.

In the first few months of my wife's pregnancy she wasn't showing
The baby was inapparent

Mama's little secret.

There are quite a few childbirth jokes out there...it used to be a labor
to find them.

Bought a home pregnancy test.
Turns out, my house is pregnant.

Now, you can add that extra man cave you always wanted. <G>

I got my wife 4 pregnancy tests and they all came back positive
She’s now worried about how we are going to raise 4 kids.

Be like the Duggar family...as they grow up, put them on diaper
duty.

"It's time we discussed the elephant in the womb".

Uterus don't say.

My wife's pregnany lasted so long it seemed like a maternity.

Sign on the maternity room door -- PUSH!! PUSH!!

You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently
in labor, dial 8...

If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

Last night while discussing our options and what could possibly happen,
my girlfriend said "I have such a gut feeling I'm pregnant" and gave me the slyest look I've ever seen.

Buns are in the oven...and buns are being sat on.

Q: What do programmers call an unplanned pregnancy?
A: Fetal error.

They only come in baby steps.

I have felt heavily invested in my wife’s pregnancy ever since she
first told me.
After all, I provided the seed money.

On the sperm of the moment, no less.

Q: What happens after pregnancy?
A: gnancy

Gee, Nancy, why didn't you tell me??

True story: I worked at a Crisis Pregnancy counselling centre; While entering in the comment cards, one had in answer to, "What could we do
to improve your experience?": "Maybe some soft lighting & music."

Not to mention aromatic perfume.

I asked my sister how her pregnancy is going. My dad interrupts,
"Swell!"

Never mind growing pains.

A Girl takes a Pregnancy Test, then looks her Boyfriend dead in the
eyes and says:
Your Kid in Me!

Then, they wanted a sample from him into a cup, and said Penis (pee in
nis).

Daryl

... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.
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In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

I like it!

If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

When you change a girl, t here may be some addtoinal dribble onto the new diaper. When you change a boy, you have a little laser dot on

your

forehead. . . target acquired, FIIIIRRE!!!!

Yep.

I've been through them all. . . oh well -- I learned, though! oh, BOY, did I learn!

> Now, you can add that extra man cave you always wanted. <G>

Never wanted one; I'm happy to hang out with my family, or at my computer, whatever. . .

Be like the Duggar family...as they grow up, put them on diaper
duty.

Who? No, that's part of the Daltry family. . . Soz. . .

You have reached the pregnancy hotline...
If you'd like to speak to a physician, dial 1... if you are currently in labor, dial 8...

If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

That takes a special kind of person!

There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!
Thank God it came back negative!

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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George,

In southern California, if there's no smog, UCLA.

I like it!

If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

In this case, a sneeze is known as a Booger Holler. <G>

If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

Same thing...the tic-tac-toe symbol.

... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

That takes a special kind of person!

That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

I've slept and [pooped] since then.

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

A data late, and a duller short.

My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!

Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

Daryl

... The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
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If there is fog, UC Berkely? I guess not. . . or snot. . .

In this case, a sneeze is known as a Booger Holler. <G>

Make that hanky dance -- blow a little boogie into it!

If that's not a viable option, press the pound key.

I see a number key or is it an octothorpe?

Same thing...the tic-tac-toe symbol.

Yup it's "number" before a number & "pound"(or "pounds") after. . .

As in, I'll take 6# of those #1 grade apples, please. . .

Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the doctor's daughter!

... I took an IQ test, and the results were negative.

That takes a special kind of person!

That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

Of course! Give & take is fun!

There's an easy trick you can use to calculate your IQ
It's 150 minus the number of toilet rolls you bought in March 2000

I've slept and [pooped] since then.

But howe many more than you really needed did you buy then?

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

A data late, and a duller short.

Or a dullard. . .

My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!

Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

Either way. . . it's all good now!

I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.

Q: What’s a doctor who studies adam’s apples called?
A: A guy-neck-ologist

It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice
Because that would be in cider trading

I heard Apple made a car out of furniture.
It's called an i-Kia

Q: What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?
A: You can’t see the doctor about it.

Q: What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
A: A Sample

Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows

Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
But do you know where the Minneapolis?

Apple announced a new product for wives that helps cope with spontaneous dad jokes throughout their day.
The i-Roll

Apple's new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
....is guaranteed to sync.

Q: Why isn't Apple mass producing cars like the iKia?
A: They re having trouble installing windows.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the doctor's daughter!

Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

That's the tagline I sent, and the late Nancy Backus (I miss her),
said "that explains a lot <g,d,r>". She said afterwards "I hope you
know I was joking", and I said "I got a good laugh out of it".

Of course! Give & take is fun!

When I know someone real well...even just good friends, the banter
between us is hilarious.

But howe many more than you really needed did you buy then?

I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

A data late, and a duller short.

Or a dullard. . .

That, too.

My IQ test result just came in and I’m really relieved!

Made you pee all over the floor, eh?? Or, you were so happy, you
could just [poop]??!! <g,d,r>

Either way. . . it's all good now!

Just don't do the slip and slide. :P

I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left
side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

My Mom's late brother died of an aneurysm.

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.

The bird probably ate the first half as an appetizer.

Q: What’s a doctor who studies adam’s apples called?
A: A guy-neck-ologist

The bones in my neck are so kinked, and the pain is really bothering me...basically a wide area of pinched nerves.

It’s illegal to sell stocks from inside a bath of sparkling apple juice Because that would be in cider trading

I love chilled apple juice, but it's like prune juice to me. :P

Q: What’s the worst part of having an apple addiction?
A: You can’t see the doctor about it.

I thought that's what students gave to teachers.

Q: What is it called when a Samsung and an Apple mate?
A: A Sample

The doctor wanted this old man to provide a urine sample, a stool
sample, and a semen sample. The old man didn't hear what the doctor
said, and his wife said "he wants to see your underwear". :P

Never fart in an apple store
They don't have windows

Failure is not an option...it comes shipped with Windows.

Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...
But do you know where the Minneapolis?

In the small drink of Mini Soda.

Apple's new Bluetooth accessory: the iTanic...
....is guaranteed to sync.

Especially if you're eating iceberg lettuce...which is the only lettuce
I can eat.

Daryl

... Got Kleptomania?? Take something for it.
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George,

Akk I want is a bushel of apples & a few hours alone with the

doctor's

daughter!

Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling
through the ward. . .

I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

Okayyyy. . . the Aussies say Bog Roll. . .

You go to the bpg to lerave a jobby, then use the BR to do the paperwork. .
(no job is truly done until the paperwork is done)

I had an aneurysm burst & a stroke that mostly paralyzed my left side(true story, not funny in itself)), but I'm all right now!

My Mom's late brother died of an aneurysm.

:( Yup, 98% do die - God wasn't/isn't done with me yet, I can only suppose. .

Q: What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm.

The bird probably ate the first half as an appetizer.

The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

The bones in my neck are so kinked, and the pain is really bothering me...basically a wide area of pinched nerves.

Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for nerve pain -
- & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

I take it for a crushed disc. . .

> GP> Everyone knows where the Big Apple is...

But do you know where the Minneapolis?

In the small drink of Mini Soda.

Q: what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
A: the juveniles

Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

Rivers are...
the original streaming service.

Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

Q: Two cats had a race across a river. Their names were "One Two Three" and
"Un Deux Trois". Which one came first?
A: "One Two Three" did cos "Un Deux Trois" cat sank.

New Book: "Yellow River"
By I.P. Dailey

I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my rowboat...
It’s row v. wade.

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

Never mind taking a turn for the nurse.

BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling through the ward. . .

They probably got you back with barbed wire needles in the gleutes. :P

I have no clue. I moved out before I got married in 2003. My late
wife referred to toilet paper as "Bun Wad" or BW. <G> So, we'd go
shopping for BW instead of TP. <G>

Okayyyy. . . the Aussies say Bog Roll. . .

Just like anti-diarrhea medicine. Better to have and not need, than to
need and not have. Speaking of which, this TV or movie deal had to STOP production, to an outbreak of "explosive diarrhea" on location. Folks were collapsing on the set, and scrambling to find toilets.

:( Yup, 98% do die - God wasn't/isn't done with me yet, I can only suppose. .

We're still here for some reason.

The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

The only good case for that is in the game L.O.R.D. II in searching the condemned cave south of the hag's castle, to find the ancient flute, 35
gold pieces, and the parrot the old hag is looking for. You have to bite
into the gloworm to see inside the cave.

Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for nerve pain - - & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

No...I'm not much for herbal medicines.

Q: what do you call the smaller rivers that run into the nile?
A: the juveniles

Kid stuff. <G>

Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

Just like hurricanes are female...better than himicanes.

Rivers are...
the original streaming service.

Only dead fish swim with the stream.

Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

Was it a Hardly David's Son??

New Book: "Yellow River"
By I.P. Dailey

Got to lay off the Lasix...and don't eat the yellow snow.

I’m debating whether I should cross the river on foot or use my
rowboat... It’s row v. wade.

I think we need to abort this thread.

Daryl

... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.
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The joke is YOU bit through the worm!

The only good case for that is in the game L.O.R.D. II in searching the condemned cave south of the hag's castle, to find the ancient flute, 35
gold pieces, and the parrot the old hag is looking for. You have to bite into the gloworm to see inside the cave.

Yup, I discovered that a year pre-release while beta testing the game. . .

I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to burn
off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from -100 to +100.

Anything they can do? Have you tried Gabapentin -- it's good for

nerve

pain - - & doesn't make your thinking fuzzy like opiods. .

No...I'm not much for herbal medicines.

Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in any
herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

Q: Did you know the Mississippi River is a girl?
A: If it was a guy it would be the Misterssippi River.

Just like hurricanes are female...better than himicanes.

The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask for directions. .

Q: What're the fastest things on the river bed?
A: A motor-pike with side-carp.

Was it a Hardly David's Son??

David rode in a mighty Triumph!

... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men, which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with, "SLEEPY, Steve!"

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while roling through the ward. . .

My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane. He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.


... I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.
___ MultiMail/Linux v0.52

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George,

I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to
burn off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from -100
to +100.

That's true. Although once you get the Gryphon Moon, you can refresh your turns.

Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in any herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

Yeah, Big Pharma controls who pays what. :P

The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask for directions. .

Although with as erratic as both "genders" have done, you have to wonder.

Was it a Hardly David's Son??

David rode in a mighty Triumph!

And, the disciples came in one Accord.

... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men,
which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

No pressure. I'll bet the audience was roaring in laughter.

I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with,
"SLEEPY, Steve!"

Or he could do like the late Richard Dawson did...talking about
the critters coming back to San Juan Capistrano, and he did an
imitation of a swallow <GULP!>. :P

Daryl

... S.T.O.P. -- Spin Tires On Pavement.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
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Ron,

My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane.
He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.

I saw a meme, with the old man and his wife in bed. Suddenly, it looks
like he's having a massive erection. His wife growls "Stop it!! I know
that's your walking stick". <G>

... I was on a roll, till I slipped on the butter.

Now, you've got me hungry. :P

Daryl

... Useless invention: Electric banana straightener.
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George Pope wrote to Daryl Stout <=-

BTDT. . . I used use my grabber to pinch nurses' bottoms while

roling

through the ward. . .

My great-grandpa used to try to lift the nurse's skirts with his cane. He would have been more successful, but he was 95 and moving slow. And his eyesight wasn't as good as it used to be.

I get that. . my eyesight & hearing is runing about that good. . .

Occasionally, due to my height, my left hand(paralyzed) would brush against a nurse's mammalias. . . but I have no sensation there, so it's as much fun for me as brushing a book against her. . .

They soon figured out it was unintentional & without gain, & those who were concerned would stand appropriately to avoid it. . .

Most of my fun was coming in from t he smoke area outside, backwards, up the ramp, kicking with my one good foot in the manual wheelchair full speed so I
go through the automatic doors JUST as they open up the short hall to the
main one, & use my right hand to grip the wheel for a sharp quarter turn to
be facing the right direction. . . (I'd checked the overhead mirror to be
sure I wouldn't hit anyone)

They thought I was out of control & maniacal, but I wasn't -- just having as much fun as I could on the stroke ward, surrounded by people 30-40+ years
lder than me. . .

"I see," said the blind man, as he looked throughg a knothole in the barbed wire fence.

"What do you see?" asked the deaf-mute.

The quadriplegic just walked off in disgust. . .

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

I'm replaying for nostalgia -- Ui won as Good first, as its easier to burn off 200 towards getting to -100 than to gain +200 to go from

-100

to +100.

That's true. Although once you get the Gryphon Moon, you can refresh

your

turns.

How do I do it again? I'd forgotten that. . .

I have it.

Gabapentin is a prescription nerve blocker -- you cannot buy it in

any

herbsal store legally! (it's controlled drug)

Yeah, Big Pharma controls who pays what. :P

Not here -- the govt does, ensuring everyone has the meds they need. . .

I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

Because Canadians(people, not so much corporations) tell our government what must be done

I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass cripple
living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

But, like the old missionary told us when I was 7: "Ya gotta wanna!"

The stor (herstory) is that the himicanes would get lost & not ask

for

directions. .

Although with as erratic as both "genders" have done, you have to

wonder.

Yup. . .weather defines caprice more than anything. . .

Was it a Hardly David's Son??

David rode in a mighty Triumph!

And, the disciples came in one Accord.

That's how I heard it. . .

Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

... Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times, I let her sleep.

There was a Family Feud question, "We asked a hundred married men, which Snow White dwarf would be a good niucjname for your wife?"

Both guys stood still, refusing to buzz in!

No pressure. I'll bet the audience was roaring in laughter.

Yup, & Steve jumping in telling them how smart they were (not really --
several answers that won't get you in trouble. . .)

BZZT! "Sleepy!"
BZZT! "Doc, cuz she's as smart as one"

Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway

I'd've won & not been worried about my wife by buzzing in with, "SLEEPY, Steve!"

Or he could do like the late Richard Dawson did...talking about
the critters coming back to San Juan Capistrano, and he did an
imitation of a swallow <GULP!>. :P

Daryl

... S.T.O.P. -- Spin Tires On Pavement.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)

George,

How do I do it again? I'd forgotten that. . .

I have it.

Do the V)iew option (to see your inventory). Move the navigation bar to it, and press <ENTER> to "rub it". You'll see "You feel the Gryphon Moon come
alive in your hands"...then it asks "Did The Sun Move Back A Bit??". It increases your turns by 500, up to the max amount of turns allowed per day.

Not here -- the govt does, ensuring everyone has the meds they need. .
.

Thankfully, I only have 6 meds I take regularly, and I'm on a fairly
good prescription drug plan. I called this week to schedule 4 long overdue exams....

1) A glaucoma check on June 21.
2) A complete physical and blood work on June 29.
3) Urological blood work on June 29.
4) A Low T Treatment, plus a PSA check with the DRE <bend over, and smile> <G>

I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble
packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

I've got so much of 4 of my meds that it's pathetic.

I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass cripple living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

I used to live in subsized housing, but moved back to what was my late parents place before my Mom's death.

Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

The devil was never a good sport about things. :P

Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway

They only had 5 weasels in Roger Rabbit. <G>

Daryl

... Polaroids: What Eskimos get from sitting on ice too long.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Do the V)iew option (to see your inventory). Move the navigation bar to it, and press <ENTER> to "rub it". You'll see "You feel the Gryphon Moon come
alive in your hands"...then it asks "Did The Sun Move Back A Bit??". It increases your turns by 500, up to the max amount of turns allowed per

day.

Thanks, nbow to get it -- how doi I get to the Clan's home to get the Gryphon Moon? I'm under -100 alignment, but I can't do it via King Arris as he won't talk to me any more. . . I'm ready to wi the game as Evil now. . .

Thankfully, I only have 6 meds I take regularly, and I'm on a fairly
good prescription drug plan. I called this week to schedule 4 long overdue exams....

1) A glaucoma check on June 21.
2) A complete physical and blood work on June 29.
3) Urological blood work on June 29.
4) A Low T Treatment, plus a PSA check with the DRE <bend over, and smile>

Nice you've got the coverage for this -- this is routine here in Canada, no charge for any of it, ever. . . (for Canadian residents registered for coverage)

You're obviously blessed & protected. . .what does DRE stand for?

I had my PSA done by blood test backed up by CT scan. . . I'm good. . .

I get my eyes done by an actual eye doctor (not just an optician) every 2 years. .

My sister called my dad today to ask if there’s any history of glaucoma on
his side of the family.
My dad: “None that I’ve seen!”

I called in today and told my boss I had anal glaucoma
I couldn’t see my butt going into work

Thgen there was that famous British spy, Henry Reed.

His eyes were failing him, making it difficult to aim his weapon, so he was called in to MI6 HQ and offered a quick submarine ride (had to be quick, as
it wasa needed to monitor Uboats in t he North Sea) to a place near where an appointment had been made for Henry Reed.

His boss impressed on him t he need to not be distracted by anything, as t
ime was of the essence & they eeded him in good shape ASAP, so the boss said, "Go directly from the sub, Lime, to the Reed oculist."

(typed this in from memory, from having read it, years ago, in Spider Robinson's "Callahan's" books. . . hope I got it right)

I get hundreds of dollars worth of pills every 4 weeks, in bubble packs, delivered, & I pay $0.00. . . :)

I've got so much of 4 of my meds that it's pathetic.

I've had some success influencing policy myself, as a broke-ass

cripple

living in subsidized housing. . . (it's fun!)

I used to live in subsized housing, but moved back to what was my late parents place before my Mom's death.

Was it after the first baseball game? ("In the big inning")

The devil was never a good sport about things. :P

Maybe just the two then. . . I'm not sure I could name all 7 "dwarfs" anyway

They only had 5 weasels in Roger Rabbit. <G>

Daryl

... Polaroids: What Eskimos get from sitting on ice too long.
=== MultiMail/Win v0.52
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Win32
* Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - Little Rock, Arkansas (1:19/33)

Your friend,

<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
--- SBBSecho 3.14-Linux
* Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)