George,
With what they have now, they're encouraging laziness.
What's that then?
Paying them more to stay home than to go to work.
Or ther teller,. surmising the robber wasn't too bright, by his grammar
& spelling on the stickup note, who said she needs to see ID for such a large withdrawal. Doofus is giddy, thinking she's really going to give
it to him, & produces his driver's license. She copiesthe info down,
gives it to him plus a sack of $1 bills. The police were waiting for
him when he got home.
Dumb Criminals 101. <G>
I love these stories, especially because so many are true!
Or, how about this one??
This was circulating on one of the ham radio modes (packet),
and sent to me by a fellow ham radio operator in one of the BBS
echoes...it's A.A.A.D.D.
***
A.A.A.D.D.- KNOW THE SYMPTOMS!
Thank goodness there's a name for this disorder.
Age-Activated Attention-Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decide to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway,
I look over at my car and decide it needs washing.
As I start toward the garage,
I notice mail on the porch table that
I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys on the table,
Put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table,
And notice that the can is full.
So, I decide to put the bills back
On the table and take out the garbage first...
But then I think,
Since I'm going to be near the mailbox
When I take out the garbage anyway,
I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my cheque book off the table,
And see that there is only one cheque left.
My extra cheques are in my desk in the study,
So I go inside the house to my desk where
I find the can of Pepsi I'd been drinking .
I'm going to look for my cheques,
But first I need to push the Pepsi aside
So that I don't accidentally knock it over.
The Pepsi is getting warm,
And I decide to put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the Pepsi,
A vase of flowers on the counter
Catches my eye--they need water.
I put the Pepsi on the counter and
Discover my reading glasses that
I've been searching for all morning.
I decide I better put them back on my desk,
But first I'm going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter ,
Fill a container with water and suddenly spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV,
I'll be looking for the remote,
But I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table,
So I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs,
But first I'll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers,
But quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table,
Get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to
Remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
The car isn't washed,
The bills aren't paid,
There is a warm can of
Pepsi sitting on the counter,
The flowers don't have enough water,
There is still only 1 cheque in my cheque book,
I can't find the remote,
I can't find my glasses,
And I don't remember what I did with the car keys.
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today,
I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day,
And I'm really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem,
And I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail....
Do me a favour
Forward this message to everyone you know,
Because I don't remember who I've sent it to.
***
Of course! He invented humour & laughter!
God had a sense of humor...he created us. :P
Soon she calls out, "Okay, Jimmy, you can come in now,. I took it off."
LOL!!
Cute & innocently adorable, right, & funny for the innocent misunderstanding?
It's like the children's sermon on Easter Sunday...when the preacher
asked if they knew what a resurrection was. One little boy said "If
you have one for more than 4 hours, you need to go to the hospital!!".
It brought the house down in laughter, and the preacher was understandably
red as a tomato. <G>
Good thing the areafix dude knew me well, & warned me of a tight*ss
weinie in the group. I told him the joke & he roared! (he has a little girl)
I've heard far worse...it all depends on where your mind is.
In a skit I did for ham radio, it was full of ham radio terms, but
they were also puns. To a non-ham, it wouldn't make much sense, or it
sounded downright vulgar. But, to a ham radio operator, they made the connection. Here's the "Readers Digest Version":
I united Ham and Radio in Holy Telephony...and said to Ham that
"You may now kiss the mic". We understand that the reception was
excellent. And, the honeymoon...with details brought to us by a
trusted group of Official Observers...was because he could not
resistor. After turning down the lights, and putting on some soft
JT-65 music, Ham and Radio assumed positions of horizontal and
vertical polarization, as they got to intimately know each other.
They wanted to zero beat their frequencies, as he wanted to work
up her sideband. But, they had to be careful to not put the wedding
gifts of Morse Keyers where they'd sleep. Otherwise, they'd become
infested with bedbugs, and that'd be a real pain in the brass.
Folks wanting the entire version can go to www.qrz.com and search
for WX4QZ -- once there, click on the hyperlink, and scroll down to
the Ham Radio Humor PDF file. That's not the only thing in there,
and it's guaranteed to make one laugh...especially if they're a ham
radio operator.
Then he made me the official Mod for the group! *LOL*
Laugh, kukkaburra, laugh!
Revenge is a dish best served cold.
I tell folks that be serious enough to obey the rules, but not
so serious as to not have a sense of humor. As Roger Rabbit so
rightly noted, "If you don't have a sense of humor, you're better
off dead!!".
Daryl
... What is a Zebra?? 25 sizes larger than an "A" bra.
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