• Marriage Issues

    From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to All on Thu Jun 18 23:12:00 2020
    John and Jean, a married couple desperately wanted children but
    could not have any. They had been married for several years,
    and one night about midnight they knocked on their pastor's
    door.

    The pastor came to the door, still about half asleep, and they
    told him, "Pastor we have been praying, and just feel that if
    you will anoint us with oil, and pray over us, God will give
    us a baby."

    The pastor, being a man of faith thought that was a good idea,
    so he called to his wife and said, "Honey, bring the anointing
    oil, and let's pray for this couple."

    After a few minutes, she came out and said, "I couldn't find
    the anointing oil, but I found this 3 in 1 oil." He decided
    that he would use it, and God would honor their prayer. So,
    he did, and the couple went home.

    About 9 months later, he got a call to come to the hospital,
    that the couple was going to have a baby, so he went. He arrived,
    and the husband was pacing the floor. He said, "Pastor, have you
    heard we are going to have triplets!"

    The pastor said, "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that the 3 in 1 oil
    would have that effect."

    The new father said, "It's fine pastor, we are praising God that
    you didn't use WD-40."

    [at least it wasn't something from "The Land of 10,000 Lakes" <G>]

    ***

    Tom and Grace were attending a Marriage Seminar, dealing with
    communication. They had been married for almost 50 years, and the
    instructor wanted to use them as an example of communications, and understanding each other based on their lengthy marriage.

    As Tom and his wife Grace listened, the instructor told everyone,
    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes
    and dislikes."

    He turned to the Tom and asked, "Can you name your wife's favorite
    flower?"

    Tom leaned over and lovingly touched his wife's arm gently and
    whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?"

    ... Put The Cat Out?? I didn't know it was on fire!!
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  • From Charles Stephenson@1:226/16 to Daryl Stout on Sat Jun 20 07:34:00 2020

    On Jun 19th 2:06 am Daryl Stout said...
    John and Jean, a married couple desperately wanted children but could not have any. They had been married for several years, and one night about midnight they knocked on their pastor's door.


    VERY funny! Made me chuckle to myself! :)



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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Sat Jun 20 11:45:45 2020
    After a few minutes, she came out and said, "I couldn't find
    the anointing oil, but I found this 3 in 1 oil." He decided
    that he would use it, and God would honor their prayer. So,
    he did, and the couple went home.
    About 9 months later, he got a call to come to the hospital,
    that the couple was going to have a baby, so he went. He arrived,

    Wonder what would've happened it the priest had used Marvel's Mystery Oil???;)

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  • From Jimmy Anderson@1:116/17 to Daryl Stout on Sat Jun 20 12:09:00 2020
    Daryl Stout wrote to All <=-


    Oh man! Those are great! I'll be telling those!!!





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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Charles Stephenson on Sun Jun 21 08:04:00 2020
    Charles,

    On Jun 19th 2:06 am Daryl Stout said...
    John and Jean, a married couple desperately wanted children but could
    not have any. They had been married for several years, and one night
    about midnight they knocked on their pastor's door.

    VERY funny! Made me chuckle to myself! :)

    I let out a scream when I got to the punchline. <G>

    Daryl

    ... I was told "Have emergency # on vacation". I wrote "911".
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Don Lowery on Sun Jun 21 08:05:00 2020
    Don,

    Wonder what would've happened it the priest had used Marvel's Mystery Oil???;)

    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for
    anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    Daryl

    ... Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Jimmy Anderson on Sun Jun 21 08:06:00 2020
    Jimmy,

    Oh man! Those are great! I'll be telling those!!!

    The nice part is that they're CLEAN, and you don't see the
    punchline coming.

    ... There are many Internet scams. Send me $20 to learn how!

    Do you take wooden nickels?? <G>

    Daryl


    ... My dyslexic friend said I should act my age, not my Q.I.
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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 23 00:37:57 2020
    Wonder what would've happened it the priest had used Marvel's Mystery Oil???;)
    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    On the other hand...could be half male...half female. Beautiful on the female half & looks just like me on the male half. ;D

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Don Lowery on Wed Jun 24 12:26:00 2020
    Don,

    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    On the other hand...could be half male...half female. Beautiful on the female half & looks just like me on the male half. ;D

    Or one gender on the front, and the other on the back. <G>

    Daryl

    ... Hindsight being 20/20 does not mean looking at butts!!
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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Fri Jun 26 09:35:08 2020
    On the other hand...could be half male...half female. Beautiful on th female half & looks just like me on the male half. ;D
    Or one gender on the front, and the other on the back. <G>

    Started thinking about that...but we have that already. ;)

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Don Lowery on Sat Jun 27 15:10:00 2020
    Don,

    On the other hand...could be half male...half female. Beautiful on th female half & looks just like me on the male half. ;D
    Or one gender on the front, and the other on the back. <G>

    Started thinking about that...but we have that already. ;)

    In short, everyone's just a bunch of @$$h01e$. Besides, that's what
    the colonoscopy doctors see every day. <G>

    Daryl

    ... "AEIOUEIAUO" - sorry, I have uncontrolled vowel movements
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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Sun Jun 28 08:39:02 2020
    Or one gender on the front, and the other on the back. <G>
    Started thinking about that...but we have that already. ;)
    In short, everyone's just a bunch of @$$h01e$. Besides, that's what
    the colonoscopy doctors see every day. <G>

    ;D

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Don Lowery on Mon Jun 29 22:03:00 2020
    Don,

    In short, everyone's just a bunch of @$$h01e$. Besides, that's what
    the colonoscopy doctors see every day. <G>

    ;D

    In his skit on his colonoscopy, Jeff Foxworthy is getting dressed
    afterwards, thinking he can go home. The nurse comes in and asks
    "Where do you think you're going??". He said "I guess I'm going home".
    She says "Guess again". He asks "What do you mean??".

    She basically tells him that they had to put air into the colon
    to inflate it, and "you have to give it back before you go home"...
    and adds "I have to verify that you do it". At which point, he notices
    she has a pen and a clipboard.

    He growls "I went to career day in high school. Nobody told me that
    you could get paid good money for rating farts on a clipboard. I have
    friends who do that all the time for free!!". He continues with "She
    wants me to do this, and I need to do this...but, I was raised in the
    South, and my Momma told me NEVER to do that in front of a woman,
    especially in front of a woman you don't know"...and laments "I locked
    up".

    So, she has him get down on all fours on the bed, and he said as
    soon as he did that, he knew it'd work. He thought about his wife's
    LaMaz classes and how she did "the big push"...adding "What came out
    of me, was so loud, and so long, that Fred Flintstone clocked out of
    work!!".

    He asked the nurse "May I go home now??" -- she replied "Please do". <G>

    Daryl

    ... A soldier surviving mustard gas is a seasoned veteran.
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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Tue Jun 30 00:30:19 2020
    She basically tells him that they had to put air into the colon
    to inflate it, and "you have to give it back before you go home"...
    and adds "I have to verify that you do it". At which point, he notices
    she has a pen and a clipboard.
    LaMaz classes and how she did "the big push"...adding "What came out
    of me, was so loud, and so long, that Fred Flintstone clocked out of work!!".

    I know I am still a kid when it comes to something like this. The Klumps sitting around the dinner table trying to outdo each other had me laughing so hard that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

    Then again...talking about being a gentleman...used to break the smell
    barrier & hold the sheets over her head. More than once...I was proven wrong that a foot will fit in that area. ;D

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to Don Lowery on Wed Jul 1 21:03:00 2020
    Don,

    LaMaz classes and how she did "the big push"...adding "What came out
    of me, was so loud, and so long, that Fred Flintstone clocked out of work!!".

    I know I am still a kid when it comes to something like this. The
    Klumps sitting around the dinner table trying to outdo each other had
    me laughing so hard that I couldn't keep my eyes open.

    Sort of like the joke where the old man decides to play "fart football"
    in bed...scoring "touchdowns and field goals" (I guess on the length and
    stench of it).

    Well, just before "halftime", he [pooped] the bed, and his wife said "Personal Foul. Targeting. That's An Ejection". <G>

    Then again...talking about being a gentleman...used to break the smell barrier & hold the sheets over her head. More than once...I was proven wrong that a foot will fit in that area. ;D

    While everyone farts (some as little as 15 times a day, to as much as
    20 times an hour (I wonder how much taxpayer money went to that study??)),
    my late wife always "excused herself" before and afterwards. One time,
    we were in bed, and she said "What the...??"...and ripped one out. A
    former area Sysop said that RIP wasn't RIP Graphics (originally done by TeleGraphix, which is long since shut down)...but RIP was what you did
    to a fart.

    Anyway, when the stench reached our nostrils, it was like "Whoof!!"
    (similar to the "silent but deadly" (SBD) methane bombs that our
    dachshund would drop), and I said "That was a full grown adult YIPE,
    and it wasn't on disability!!"...we both were laughing like mad.

    The stench (like rotten eggs/methane/sulphur) is an indication that
    the bacteria in your gut are doing their job to digest the food...but
    I saw a tagline that noted "Farts are ghosts of things we ate". After
    a colonoscopy, "you join everyone else in the wind section". :P

    Another time, my late wife and I were otherwise "intimately occupied"
    on our Futon, and the dachshund was in his bed next to it. All of a
    sudden, this horrid stench permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped
    an SBD bomb. I'm practically gagging, and my wife was laughing like mad...saying "You know he's down there, saying 'Hee Hee Hee!! Ignore
    my @$$, will you??!!" <G>. Well, any lovemaking went out the window,
    and I had to get dressed, and take the dog out for a walk. But, it
    reminds me of the meme, where "the dog takes a 90 minute walk, then
    poops on the kitchen floor". :P

    Daryl

    ... Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.
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  • From Don Lowery@1:340/1000 to Daryl Stout on Thu Jul 2 13:16:12 2020
    Sort of like the joke where the old man decides to play "fart football" in bed...scoring "touchdowns and field goals" (I guess on the length and stench of it).
    Well, just before "halftime", he [pooped] the bed, and his wife said "Personal Foul. Targeting. That's An Ejection". <G>

    I know I still haven't grown up when I watch the 2nd Klumps movie & die laughing at the contest around dining room table.

    Another time, my late wife and I were otherwise "intimately occupied"
    on our Futon, and the dachshund was in his bed next to it. All of a sudden, this horrid stench permeated our nostrils...the dog had dropped
    an SBD bomb. I'm practically gagging, and my wife was laughing like

    Ah...so you couldn't blame the dog this time. Too bad...since it sounds like
    he knew it & would get you guys like this.

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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Feb 1 12:09:08 2021
    Don,

    Wonder what would've happened it the priest had used Marvel's Mystery Oil???;)

    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for
    anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

    Liftf 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

    Outie = boy
    Innie = girl

    Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

    Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
    Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
    Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
    Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

    A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
    *weeps*


    <+]-{)}
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Charles Stephenson on Mon Feb 1 12:12:16 2021
    On Jun 19th 2:06 am Daryl Stout said...
    John and Jean, a married couple desperately wanted children but
    could
    not have any. They had been married for several years, and one night about midnight they knocked on their pastor's door.


    VERY funny! Made me chuckle to myself! :)

    Me, too, I like the lighthearted & fictional marriage tales like this one:

    After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to
    hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

    Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're
    here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

    The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already
    know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

    'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

    'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to
    be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm
    sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

    The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done
    on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the
    picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

    'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact
    that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs
    another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,'
    said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a
    good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

    Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

    Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

    'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

    'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for
    me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God,
    she's fainted!'

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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Feb 2 06:10:00 2021
    George,

    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for
    anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

    Lift 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

    Here are a few others related to that:

    1) So, that explains the difference in our salaries.

    2) So, I have an antenna, and you have a USB port.

    3) You can't have mine!! You broke yours off!!

    4) Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it was a boy or girl,
    so I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

    5) A cartoon of a little boy standing on top of a little girl's head.
    You just see their naked backsides, with the butt cheeks in all their
    glory (we're all the same from the backside).

    He says to her "Ok, we took off all our clothes, and I got on top of
    you. When is it supposed to start feeling good??". To which, the girl
    replies "I don't know, but I've already got a headache".

    6) Sixty years ago (around 1960), this mother and her daughter were
    traveling on vacation, and they always stopped at rest stops for lunch,
    and for "potty breaks". Momma had taught her daughter to always look
    for the longer name -- WOMEN versus MEN. Note this was long before you
    had to worry about perverts and pedophiles at highway rest areas.

    Well, they are at a rest stop, and the little girl has to go potty
    (nature tends to call at the most inopportune time). Momma tells her
    to remember what she said...but when the little girl gets to the
    restroom, it's LADIES versus GENTLEMAN -- guess which one is longer??
    <G>.

    She walks in there, and sees a little boy, naked as a jaybird, and
    she asks him what he's doing. Seeing his "member", she asks what he
    has there. He tells here, and she says "Boy!! That's a handy thing
    to have along at picnics!!" <G>

    I would've loved to have seen Momma's face when she told her!! <BG>

    Outie = boy
    Innie = girl

    Basically.

    Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

    Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
    Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
    Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
    Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

    Really.

    A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
    *weeps*

    I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

    Daryl

    ... A public restroom is where a flush beats a full house.
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Tue Feb 2 06:14:00 2021
    George,

    'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to
    big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

    Smile!! You're on Candid Camera!! <G>

    Daryl

    ... Paper Or Plastic Bag?? Doesn't Matter; I'm bi-sacksual.
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  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Tue Feb 2 22:37:57 2021
    George,

    Well, it's either a boy or a girl...we know that for sure. As for anything else, all bets are off. <G>

    You & I grew up with a simple, binary world:

    Lift 'em up, flip 'em over take a look!

    Here are a few others related to that:

    1) So, that explains the difference in our salaries.

    2) So, I have an antenna, and you have a USB port.

    3) You can't have mine!! You broke yours off!!

    4) Your sister had a baby, but we don't know if it was a boy or girl,
    so I don't know whether you're an aunt or an uncle.

    Classics, all!

    5) A cartoon of a little boy standing on top of a little girl's head.
    You just see their naked backsides, with the butt cheeks in all their
    glory (we're all the same from the backside).

    He says to her "Ok, we took off all our clothes, and I got on top of
    you. When is it supposed to start feeling good??". To which, the girl replies "I don't know, but I've already got a headache".

    I have that one somewghere in my archives.

    6) Sixty years ago (around 1960), this mother and her daughter were traveling on vacation, and they always stopped at rest stops for lunch,
    and for "potty breaks". Momma had taught her daughter to always look
    for the longer name -- WOMEN versus MEN. Note this was long before you
    had to worry about perverts and pedophiles at highway rest areas.

    Well, they are at a rest stop, and the little girl has to go potty
    (nature tends to call at the most inopportune time). Momma tells her
    to remember what she said...but when the little girl gets to the
    restroom, it's LADIES versus GENTLEMAN -- guess which one is longer??
    <G>.

    She walks in there, and sees a little boy, naked as a jaybird, and
    she asks him what he's doing. Seeing his "member", she asks what he
    has there. He tells here, and she says "Boy!! That's a handy thing
    to have along at picnics!!" <G>

    I would've loved to have seen Momma's face when she told her!! <BG>

    I don't get it. Why handy on picnics? What did he call it, his "weiner"?

    Outie = boy
    Innie = girl

    Basically.

    It worked for our generation & thousands before us. . .

    Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

    Bill: I hear you just gave birth?
    Jill: Yup! 4 hours of labour!
    Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
    Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

    Really.

    You'd wonder. . . It seems too plausible today for comfort. . .

    A moment of silence for common sense & sensibility. . .
    *weeps*

    I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

    Nah, we just acknowleged there's a rotting corpse before us & the ID in the pocket says "Common Sense & Sensibility"

    Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the dialup number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

    Be well, my friend. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Wed Feb 3 18:35:00 2021
    George,

    Classics, all!

    And, all were clean. :)

    I have that one somewghere in my archives.

    I've got it over here.

    I don't get it. Why handy on picnics? What did he call it, his
    "weiner"?

    Momma probably didn't realize that there was a "longer set of
    names" on the restrooms. Another one had a sign toward the restrooms,
    with "MEN to the LEFT...because WOMEN are always RIGHT". <G>

    Outie = boy
    Innie = girl

    Basically.

    It worked for our generation & thousands before us. . .

    Exactly.

    Now it's well-encapsulated by this little interaction:

    Bill: Is it a boy or a girl?
    Jill: How should I know? It's not old enough to tell me yet!

    Really.

    You'd wonder. . . It seems too plausible today for comfort. . .

    My late wife would've said "gag me a goat with a triple backhoe". <G>

    I think that disappeared when this thread started. <G>

    Nah, we just acknowleged there's a rotting corpse before us & the ID in the pocket says "Common Sense & Sensibility"

    Exactly.

    Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the dialup number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

    I don't have dial-up anymore...just telnet and web only.

    Daryl

    ... The Thunderbolt BBS, Little Rock, Arkansas tbolt.synchro.net
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Thu Feb 4 23:10:32 2021
    Daryl. . .

    Momma probably didn't realize that there was a "longer set of
    names" on the restrooms. Another one had a sign toward the restrooms,
    with "MEN to the LEFT...because WOMEN are always RIGHT". <G>

    I've got a small collection of bar signs for bathrooms, silly & punny. . .

    But all JPGs, so I canm't post em here. . .

    Ah, yes, Thunderbolt. Now I remember -- I likely still have the
    dialup
    number on my DOS puter in the dialer I use.

    I don't have dial-up anymore...just telnet and web only.

    Daryl

    ... The Thunderbolt BBS, Little Rock, Arkansas tbolt.synchro.net

    I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Fri Feb 5 15:57:00 2021
    George,

    I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

    When I was dial-up, it was strictly GT Power. Then I changed to Virtual Advanced (VADV32) with Argus as the frontend for dial-up. But, when the
    FIDONet Tosser wouldn't do messages right, and the phone line got so
    expensive, I switched to Synchronet, and dropped dial-up.

    Daryl

    ... Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody. -Mark Twain
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Feb 8 05:51:23 2021
    George,

    'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

    Smile!! You're on Candid Camera!! <G>

    That was the lat of the funny hidden camera shows!

    I loved it!

    My fave was when Funt pouired the exact same cola into two glasses, & gave
    the taste challenge test.

    EVERY person could define the differences between the two samples & expressed
    a preference. Some for Cola A, some for Cola B.

    Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

    Cosby did a Coke ad; he was in a tree with binculars, says, "I'm in here
    spying on the Pepsi Taste Challenge." then, "AHA! She chose Coke! That's one you won't see in their commercials. The truth is, Coke outsells Pepsi 3 to
    1."

    My only thought to all these Cola Wars ads was that I don't care who else drinks what; I drink the one I like best. A simple check in any store or gas station selling both toldme everuything I needed t know about sales rates.

    Coke always had noticeably more facings (how many cans or bottles you can see at the frot of their space.) than Pepsi (still does)

    Well, I'd best be adding in some funny content to stay on topic:

    Obpuns:

    On a theme:

    I was hit by some coca cola today...
    ...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

    Q: What's a pirates favorite cola?
    A: RC!

    TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
    That was soda pressing.

    Hey Google! Translate “¿Como estas frijole Coca Cola?” into English.
    Google: Ok... But you’re not gonna like it...

    “Howya bean pop?”

    Did you hear about the ghost that was arrested for inhabiting a bottle of
    cola?
    He was done for possession of coke.

    A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.
    He had a Tab.

    I heard coca-cola and bud light are working together on a new drink.
    It's quite the ambitious colabeeration

    A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

    A bear walks into a bar and says „Give me a whiskey and... cola.“
    Bartender: „Why the big pause?“ Bear: „I‘m not sure... I was born with them.“

    Q: What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?
    A: Soda Pop

    Q: What state is home to the smallest Coca Cola factory?
    A: Mini-Soda

    Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
    We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

    Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
    a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer


    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Mon Feb 8 06:05:15 2021
    George,

    I don't recall if you were Synchro then or not. . .

    When I was dial-up, it was strictly GT Power. Then I changed to Virtual Advanced (VADV32) with Argus as the frontend for dial-up. But, when the FIDONet Tosser wouldn't do messages right, and the phone line got so expensive, I switched to Synchronet, and dropped dial-up.

    I think I called in wh9ile you were VAD & Argus. . .

    Many moons ago. . .

    Obpunnies:

    The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the modem to the barn.
    Now I have stable wifi.

    I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!
    They call it Modem Warfare!

    My stepdaughter needed the WiFi password for her friend. I didn't hear back after I replied.
    http://www.imgur.com/yr1AUu2.png

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Feb 8 16:16:00 2021
    George,

    I think I called in wh9ile you were VADV & Argus. . .

    Probably so.

    Many moons ago. . .

    That it was.

    Obpunnies:

    The internet connection in my farm is really sketchy, so I moved the
    modem to the barn.
    Now I have stable wifi.

    You had to moove the connectivity.

    I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty!
    They call it Modem Warfare!

    Modem cables at 300 baud. <G>

    Daryl

    ... I don't drink and drive, but I swig at stoplights.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From Daryl Stout@1:19/33 to George Pope on Mon Feb 8 16:25:00 2021
    George,

    Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

    When they were doing the Pepsi Challenge at the local college 40 years ago, they HATED to see me coming. Even if they gave me crackers between samples,
    I would ALWAYS pick Coca-Cola...because I could tell by the sweetness that
    the one that had more of it, was Pepsi.

    Coke always had noticeably more facings (how many cans or bottles you
    can see at the frot of their space.) than Pepsi (still does)

    One of the paint schemes on the Amtrak locomotives got them the name
    "Pepsi Cans".

    I was hit by some coca cola today...
    ...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

    If it had been draft beer, you could've dodged it.

    Q: What's a pirates favorite cola?
    A: RC!

    I haven't seen that or Nehi around in ages...I particularly liked their
    peach soda.

    TIL that cola syrup is made by squeezing a kola nut.
    That was soda pressing.

    And messy, too.

    Hey Google! Translate “¿Como estas frijole Coca Cola?” into English. Google: Ok... But you’re not gonna like it...

    Some help you are!!

    Did you hear about the ghost that was arrested for inhabiting a bottle
    of cola?
    He was done for possession of coke.

    That's scary.

    A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet
    drink, saying to put it on his bill.
    He had a Tab.

    I hear that stuff is nasty.

    I heard coca-cola and bud light are working together on a new drink.
    It's quite the ambitious colabeeration

    I'll say.

    A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

    Coca-Cola originally had cocaine in it.

    A bear walks into a bar and says "Give me a whiskey and... cola." Bartender: "Why the big pause?" Bear: "I‘m not sure... I was born with them."

    It took me a minute to finger that one out.

    Q: What does Diet Coke call Coca Cola after adoption?
    A: Soda Pop

    Basically.

    Q: What state is home to the smallest Coca Cola factory?
    A: Mini-Soda

    And, you can get deals in Pensa-Cola.

    Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom
    asked what we did.
    We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

    Say that 5 times fast.

    Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
    a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer

    None of the above??

    Daryl

    ... I'm an objective person -- I object to everything.
    === MultiMail/Win v0.52
    --- SBBSecho 3.11-Win32
    * Origin: The Thunderbolt BBS - tbolt.synchro.net (1:19/33)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Feb 10 07:55:42 2021
    I'm really looking forward to the new Hacking Twist in Call of Duty! They call it Modem Warfare!

    Modem cables at 300 baud. <G>

    I've dialed up internet using 300 (once!)

    ... I don't drink and drive, but I swig at stoplights.

    A swig & a miss. . .

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)
  • From George Pope@1:153/757.2 to Daryl Stout on Wed Feb 10 08:08:16 2021
    George,

    Shows to go ya how silly the Pepsi Taste Test was.

    When they were doing the Pepsi Challenge at the local college 40 years ago, they HATED to see me coming. Even if they gave me crackers between samples,
    I would ALWAYS pick Coca-Cola...because I could tell by the sweetness that the one that had more of it, was Pepsi.

    I only saw the Taste Test once, at our annual Exhibition. It was set up to imply "get it right & win a prize"(i.e. pick Pepsi & spin the prize wheel for
    a $0.0003 doodad or a "Buy 20, get onehalf off" coupon.

    I took a sip of the first glass (Blech! Poopsi!), then ate the crackers (I asked for extra! *LOL* then drank the second glass (ahh, that cleared the
    taste up nicely, clearly Coke); looking sat the prize wheel, wit my eye on
    one of them, I pointed to the first glass & said "that one" (I never said it was best, just that it was the one with the slogans all over the booth); spun wheel, won bupkes. . .

    Now I just skip them if I see the booths,as I don't want to subject my poor taste buds to such yichk.

    I was hit by some coca cola today...
    ...it didn't hurt because it was a soft drink.

    If it had been draft beer, you could've dodged it.

    Not in Canada - no draft as far back as I recall.

    A guy came into the bar to order a glass of Coca-Cola's first diet drink, saying to put it on his bill.
    He had a Tab.

    I hear that stuff is nasty.

    I bet. I've tried the newer diet concoctions (only when no real Coke in cooler, obvi) & NASTY!!!

    Aspartame leaves a horrid after taste. . . & it's poison (a neurotoxin used illegally for brainwashing)

    A coca cola candy cane... it's a Cocane

    Coca-Cola originally had cocaine in it.

    Yup,ended before my time, in 1951.

    They have Cherry Coke, Lime Coke, Peach Coke. . .

    Hey, Coca Cola, if you MUST add stuff to your drink, how about putting the cocaine back into it!

    Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at
    the
    food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
    We sorted sorta sordid sodas.

    Say that 5 times fast.

    That, that, that, that, that.

    Why?

    Q: Is the President of Coca-cola a Coke Head ?
    a) Yes b) Of course, c) HELL yes! d) Decline to answer

    None of the above??

    That would be rounded off to "D" ;)

    Your friend,

    <+]:{)}
    Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
    --- SBBSecho 3.12-Linux
    * Origin: The Rusty MailBox - Penticton, BC Canada (1:153/757.2)