George,
I ofte say, "I'm getting old, but it beats the alternative!"; invariably one(usually a woman" will pipe up with, "I'd rather be young."
My late father said for years that he was 19...and I believed him.
When I caught up and passed him, "I smelled a rat". Or as my late wife
noted "There's something rotten in Denmark...and it isn't the codfish".
Denmark, per an old Danish friend, serves 3/4 raw 'smoked' fish as a local 'delicacy' (he triedonce, fought vomiting & vowed never again until he got
home for the real thing (smoked BC salmon)
Before Arkansas lowered the mask mandate, and allowed individuals 16
and older to get their COVID-19 shots...one had to be at least 65. I
just turned 61 late last month...and I was still "too young" to get a
shot at the time. The president and his wife of the Arkansas State
Square Dance Federation, are just a couple of years older than me, and
he noted "We love being 63 and young". <G>
Our phase 2 was 70+ &/or those with chronic health conditions; I qualify, but am still waiting, as is allowed currently. They'll even do a housecall for
me!
Some folks on my BBS had a fit when I announced they had a birthday.
Every day is a gift....and most of us older folks realize that we have
more days behind us, than ahead of us.
I celebrate any annual reminder that I've been alive another year!
For the women who feel obliged todo the stereotype I tell them: men have
ages; women just have birthdays.
it's a kidney stone (I get 20+ a year); but if it's achy legs from walking what bit I do (in the home); I give thanks tht I'm not
confined
to a wheelchair (I use one to go out, & that's already too much for this formerly active walker (20-80 miles/day through my youth; most
at
6MPH.
Been there, done that, got the wardrobe, on the kidney stones. But,
since
I've stopped drinking soda, and gone to just flavored water, or diet green tea citrus, I haven't had an attack in a good while. The pain of a kidney stone is the closest a man can get to childbirth. One woman told me that
"If women can pass a baby, you men can pass a stone"...to which I told her "Unlike the female cervix, the male penis can not dialate".
I've spoken with women who've h ad both & all say the stones are a worse
pain.
I worked it out: Both involve something big going through a small(er) tube,
but the birth canal is designed to accommodate the baby; the ureter is not designed to accommodate anything more than a trickle of urine from the kidney to the bladder.
After giving birth, you have a live bavby to take away memory of the pain
(else every weomsan would have ONE & then remove parts of her system to
prevent it ever recurring!)
We give 'birth' to a jaggewd rock(dead, not even pretty, just a pointy ships' wheel)
So our experience is like a woman giving birth to a porcupine, but not a live one, as that'd be still a cute baby animal. It's like if she gave birth to a dead porcupine, breach! (spines first all t he way from uterus to exit)
I find this explains i well enough for most. Science has measured pain & ranked them, & kdney stones consistently outrank fire, broken bones,
toothaches & migraines.
I get 20 opr more every year!
One suimmer, when I was drinking an EmergenC a day to prevent colds, I was shooting out 10+ pea-sized stones every WEEK!"
I never touch that crap anymore, not even AirBorne
> I paid several bills today, and marked the checkbook, so all the bills for
April are basically "paid".
A nice feeling, eh? I can't read my own writing, so I gave up on chequebooks years ago & made a Notepad file on my desktop: "PAID.TXT"(yes, I have extensions=ON) & put my payment info in there (done with online baking) with each's verifiction code; I include a memo n each, so I can ^F to find any payment to check if required/requested. & it's amount, date, & verification code.
Got a list at bottom for recurring bills (paying off some beds & other furniture) & which pay they come out of.
I normally do that, telling folks not to worry about it...especially
for those who I know. I've heard reports of these panhandlers accosting drivers at intersections.
A fgew bad apples wherever you are. I'd assume the por guy is so hungry he can't rerly n passively panhandling, with the apathy of most people who can walk by, ignoring him as if he were pigeon poop.
It's sad. One YouTuber did an experiment: he had been panhandling at one location for a while (no other income) & one day, after a lotto win, he
starts handing out $10 bills because, he saidm, he was so happy & blessed.
Most laughed, took the $10 & snuck it in behind him when he wasn't looking.
One guy, though, in a BMW(of course!), starts cursing & kicking the man!
Some people expect the poor & disabled should be misderable & need. Anuthing other than that personally offends them. These are the inventers & spreaders of negative tales.
One Halloween, when I lived in a slum building(the only one in miles), a kid actually climbed the dark dismal rickerty stairs to knock on my door & say "trick or treat"; I responded, reflexively, "Sorry, got nothing for you; do
you have anytrhing for me?" & darmned if that kid didnt reach into his sack & pull out a mini bag of sunflower seeds! I thanked him, then put it near the door for the next kid(if any--there was just the one more)
> I've heard of families literally arguing over who is paying for lunch.
My ex-fiancee' wanted me to always take her to the most expensive food place, always pick up the tab, forsake all my hobbies, and spend every waking moment with her. She was to do all the taking, and I was to do
all the giving...that type of a relationship does NOT work. My late wife
at least asked me who was paying for the meal. I normally would, but if
I needed us to "go dutch", or for her to pay for it, she never complained.
The usual rule is the inviter is offering o treat, unless stated/understood otherwise. I've learned to just be open/honest. With not too much shaner,
I'l say, "Sorry, man, I'm broke at the moment." most tell me to shut up &
come on. . .
I had one friend (now RIP) who took me out every week or two for a decent lunch, his treat - he had funds & chose to spend his savings on cruises & taking fiends out to eat." Can't say I minded that arrangement.
I went out to 2 area restaurants just before Christmas, and gave a $100 tip to an employee at each place, who always took good care of me. I still like to tip employees who do me right, but I can't afford to eat out every single day.
I hear ya! I try to recall the good ones & be generous when I can. . .
[faker beggars]
I've seen it in action as well...that just turned me off.
You saw individuals doing wrong -- this is not to paint all with one wide
brush - you're not a bigot, mate!
I hate when that happens! You don't have Norton/etc. to undelete?
I use the IObit software suite, and one of those has an undelete deal,
but normally that works with Windows files, and not at a DOS prompt.
I had Norton for Windows & I ensured C:NU\ was in my CMD prompt's %PATH% & typing UNDELETE worked to run it as if I'd clicked on it. . .
... if at first u don't succeed, drop to DOS & do it right.
I live by this!
> I had the students (and the teacher) roaring in laughter. Also, when
I did the "Phone Call From God" by Jerry Jordan, it was hard trying to
stay in character, as one gets laughing as well...and everyone else is laughing as well.
I know - their laughter is infectious! But they can usually tell you were prepared & you're laughing, not unprofessionally, but with them. . .
Yup. . I used to ask people, "Does a Pope **** in the woods?" or "Is the bear Polish?"; Yup, I'm known as the weird guy. & I wear that distinction with pride.
I saw a tagline that noted "Seen On A Baby Stroller: Poo-Poo Happens".
Fair version or my goto: "feces occurs."
There is also a commercial on the Swiffer Pet Hair Cleaner. Some pets
shed like the dickens (talk about their own fur balls)...while others
don't. But, the kicker for the commercial was "Shed Happens". <BG>
Haven't seen it, but I like it already; I love when advertisers have the
balls to do an edgy-esque pun!
Eve was deceived, so I have to cut her some slack. But, Adam apparently gave in without a fight...but did so as he didn't want to lose Eve.
& how did that make God(first love) feel? God first, period.
God wants me to love my wife & kids more than my life, but not more than Him.
Loving God includes loving everyone else.
How do we show love gift guifts to He Who literally has EVERYTHING??
By giving to those with nothing, by helping others who need it.
By visiting the sick, and when inspired, lay hands on & heal.
She made a mistake in judgement; Adam knowingly went against God's expressly stated Will. Forgiveness was available, but I consider the greatest sin to have been Adam's. So I don't have a built-in
misogyny
(can't, I *LOVE* women!)
I grew up with a brother. It never occurred to me that it took women forever and day to get ready. My late wife had one cardinal rule:
I knew, from pop culture, & I was inclined to indulge, by planning for it, ahead of tiume. First indication, a partner(or friend) had that problem, &
I'd start giving times 30-60 minutes earlier than required to be some place.
They'd catch on & laugh, & I'd have to give even earlier times, as they'd invariably adjust for the hour I was giving.
By the 3rd repeat, they'd give up & just be on time!
[wife's #1 rule]
LEAVE THE TOILET SEAT DOWN.
I start off by jocularly saying the rule is to leave it up!
But most often we gravitate towards closing both seat & lid aftyer every use, so both must lift & both must lower -- fair & looks better, & when kids
happen or visit, it's child-proofed.
When I forgot, she'd spit like a mad cat. Nothing more needed to be said...I knew I was guilty. :P
I, when I was 6, sat without looking, & got a cold wet tush!
I learned -- it never happened a second time.
It's not so difficult ot always check. A percentage of times me go to the washroom, they need to sit, buth ow often do you hear us complain about
falling in because the seat is up? Our superior male intellect (*G*) allows
us to check before sitting.
I try for balance. . . (beer in one hand & whiskey in the other)
Balanced Diet...in the belly, and in the buttocks. <G>
My doctor told me to watch my weight, so I've put it right out front where I can watch it easier!
Doc told my wife to watcghher weight, she replied, "Why, does it do tricks?"
Well, time to put in some ObHumour to keep this thread on topic for everyone else.
Once I get my point working, I'll be resuming ownership of this echo & that
was always my rule: chat if you want, but every post must be topical(Funny content); I was more or less laissez-faire in my leadership style, & mine became the more popular of the two humour echos (the other was purely G-rated (grade 4 level language/situations only, & he'd kick you out for even a HINT
of an infraction!
This echo was so people could relax & laugh. We all treated it like a GENERAL CHAT forum & made copious use of the Obligatory Joke (aka "ObJoke") to end on topic!
I made some good, longterm friends in here (still friends 25 years later!)
Almost married one, even! We're still friends, though.
ObJokes:
I really ought to start losing weight...
But, I've got too much on my plate at the moment.
We Tried Getting Americans to Start Measuring Weight in Kilograms Instead of Pounds
But they were very cagey about it.
You should avoid beef when trying to lose weight
Too many cowlories.
[I was amazed at how many kcal beef has!]
Was going to do a group on weight loss/dieting, but a pun just grew itself in my brain:
I went into the medical university's professor's washroom to relieve pressure between classes.
Outside one fellow, who was in there with me asked, "Are you a surgeon?"
I askked him how did he guess; he said "by the way you washed your hands so thoroughly"
I replied, "& you must be a psychiatrist?
"How did you know?"
"Your 'p' was silent."
back to the weight loss stuff:
I started going to the gym in my tuxedo, everything went well except the
weight lifting...
Is not my strong suit.
I asked my Dad “What’s the difference between weight and mass?”
“Well, son. Weight is your size in relation to the Earth’s gravity.
Mass is what Catholics go to Sunday morning.”
-=-
What do you call an over weight psychic?
A four chin teller
I thought that taking the shell off of my racing snail would save weight and make it more streamlined so it would be faster....
But it just made it more sluggish......
My mother's sister can carry 50 times her own weight
She's truly my aunt
I’ve been writing a book on weight loss.
I hope it will appeal to a wide audience.
How do you get to the weight room at Hogwarts?
Through the Dumbell door
& with that, I'll bid you adieu. . .
Your friend,
<+]:{)}
Cyberpope, Bishop of ROM
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